Favor or Trade Off?

So what happens when everyone  assumes that i will always make it happen to their benefit and don’t even seem to notice that I am doing  them favors. And now i am in a place where i need something and i can’t get the group to give it.  What do i do?

i think i have two separate issues here. There’s the issue that i feel that i’m being taken advantage of by those who are constantly expecting me to act on their behalf and for their benefit. And  then there’s the issue of what i’m expecting other people to do for me in return.

It may be that what’s happening with me is that when someone asks me to do them a favor, i perceive the request not so much as a question, but  more like a demand with a question mark at the end. Meaning, i don’t feel that  i’m being asked to do the favor, but rather i’m being told to do it because it is what they need.  i then agree, somewhat and sometimes reluctantly, because i don’t feel i have the option to say no.

But a favor is only a favor when it is something nice that i am doing to help out someone else. If doing it makes me resentful, hurt, bitter or feel  used, then i am not doing the other person a “favor” and i am certainly not doing any favor to myself. i found the following while resarching my thoughts and found it interesting. i’m not saying i fully embrace it, it’s just an interesting concept.

In Jewish law, there is model for this concept. They have the mitzvah of tzedakah, of giving charity. The word “mitzvah” means both “good deed” and  “commandment” — a mitzvah is a good deed that they are supposed to do. But  Jewish law sets parameters for the mitzvah of charity. They are obligated to give  no less than 10% of our income to charity, but no more than 20%. As for that additional ten percent between 10% and 20%, Torah law states that they should only give it only if it is something that they choose to do and really want to  do. If giving that “extra” charity makes them resent or regret the fact that they have an obligation to give charity, then they are not allowed to do so since it is counterproductive.

In other words, they have three levels of charity. 1) the minimum 10% that they should give, whether they feel like it or not. 2) extra charity, up to 20%, that they should give only if they truly desire to. 3) excessive charity, or more than  20%, which they’re told not to give (except under certain extreme circumstances)

While favors obviously can’t be measured as precisely as dollars in the bank,  there might be a model here that could be applied to that kind of charity as well. There is a certain “minimum” amount of favors that i am to do for others,  similar to the 10% of charity that they are obligated to give. However, to go above and beyond that with my favors is not a positive thing if it leads to a reaction where i want to stop doing favors for people altogether.

Now as i said this is not my conclusion, it is for consideration. i now must go back and compare it to Philippians. Both technically have the word, one Old Testament and one New testament. Mean while how can i tell when to say “no?” As long as i am willing and happy to  help, i can say “yes.” The moment i beginning feeling that “everyone feels i am available” or that “no one recognizes i am doing favors” it is time to say  “no.” It sounds like, i may need to take a little break from doing favors and focus a little more on myself right now, and then slowly begin saying “yes” as i am ready.

As for the other issue i mentioned– that many are not willing to come together to help us all out when  it’s needed– that, too, is a problem. But the problem is not so much that they are not, but that i am expecting it. If i am doing someone a favor so that they will do a favor for me in return, then it’s not a favor. It  is only a favor when i am doing something for the sake of helping out others. As soon as i do something for something in return, it becomes a  trade-off. It’s not a favor when the person owes me something in return.

Ideally when i help people, they should be willing to help me as well when i need their help. But if they don’t, it is their problem and a reflection of them. My problem is only when i expect it.

For now, i must remember that i have the right to say “no” to a question that  is asked. If i can help, and i am not resentful in doing so, then by all  means i’ll say “yes.” But i must bear in mind that when i say “yes” i am owed nothing  in return. i am doing a favor. And doing a good deed is all the reward i should need.

Do Me A Favor…

Well here we go… again… and again. Most days i forget about the logo and slogan i attached to this blog. Here’s what i said, “RECYCLE! Webster’s Dictionary says this, “to claim for further use” or “to recondition and adapt to a new use or function” or “to pass through a cycle again.” me and I Am is the story of how God (I Am) has claimed me (me) for further use. I Am is reconditioning and adapting me for a new function. Oh… don’t be surprised to see that i pass through a cycle more than once.”

Tell me that words aren’t powerful or that they don’t make a difference. Read what happens to this verse by adding just one word.

Philippians 2:1-11 (ed), if you’ve gotten anything at all out of following Christ, if his love has made any difference in your life, if being in a community of the Spirit means anything to you, if you have a heart, if you care— then do me a favor: Agree with each other, love each other, be deep-spirited friends. Don’t push your way to the front; don’t sweet-talk your way to the top. Put yourself aside, and help others get ahead. Don’t be obsessed with getting your own advantage. Forget yourselves long enough to lend a helping hand.

then do me a favor: Agree with each other, love each other, be deep-spirited friends. Don’t push your way to the front; don’t sweet-talk your way to the top. Put yourself aside, and help others get ahead. Don’t be obsessed with getting your own advantage. Forget yourselves long enough to lend a helping hand.

Okay but for how many, for how long, really! Is there ever a time when enough is enough? A time when you just walk away, when you pack your bags and call it a day, when it seems like one favor to many is being asked of me? The answer…  On the day that i can say, i’ve gotten nothing at all out of following Christ, on the day when i can say, His love has made no difference in my life, on the day when i say that, being in a community of the Spirit means nothing to me, on the day when i no longer have a heart, and on the day when i no longer care.

GREAT! Then as if there were any doubt as to the answer of my question, the chapter continues on with instruction and example, and again i will add just one word to it. Did i really ask, “when is enough, enough?” i should always read the rest of the story before i open my mouth and insert my foot. Anyway here’s the only way possible for me to do the favor that is being requested.

(ed), think of yourself the way Christ Jesus thought of Himself. He had equal status with God but didn’t think so much of himself that he had to cling to the advantages of that status no matter what. Not at all. When the time came, He set aside the privileges of deity and took on the status of a slave, became human! Having become human, He stayed human. It was an incredibly humbling process. He didn’t claim special privileges. Instead, He lived a selfless, obedient life and then died a selfless, obedient death—and the worst kind of death at that—a crucifixion.

^9-11Because of that obedience, God lifted Him high and honored Him far beyond anyone or anything, ever, so that all created beings in heaven and on earth—even those long ago dead and buried—will bow in worship before this Jesus Christ, and call out in praise that He is the Master of all, to the glorious honor of God the Father.

It’s Obvious!

i don’t remember all the details regarding a conversation i had with some one this week but the question i was asked was, “ed, do you really believe that God cares about you? Do you really believe that?” Later i was thinking on the question and this verse came to me. i wish i had it in my spirit and could have answered with it instead of a simple “yes, i do.” i felt the inadequacy of my answer, but could not come up with anything to redeem myself at the moment. If i had been that person i would have left saying, “well that’s good for him but not for me.” The real question is “Why.” Why do i believe that?” That’s what they really wanted to know and as i look back what they really needed. The time was rushed and i felt like i had to answer so i took the matter into my own hands and spoke my own words. i see that i didn’t have to do that, as the truth had already been spoken and all i had to do was quote the one who spoke it and it would have been all that was needed.

Hebrews 2:16-18 It’s obvious, of course, that he didn’t go to all this trouble for angels. It was for people like us, children of Abraham. That’s why he had to enter into every detail of human life. Then, when he came before God as high priest to get rid of the people’s sins, he would have already experienced it all himself—all the pain, all the testing—and would be able to help where help was needed.

my answer after the fact, now at this moment… “It’s obvious to me that Jesus didn’t go through all that He did for angles. It was for people like me and like you. Jesus became human and experienced every detail human life and more specifically of my life so and yours so that He could go before God and get rid of my sins our sins. Jesus experienced all the pain that i would suffer, all the testing that i would face and He is able to help me everywhere i need it.”

Well they say that hindsight is beautiful… i think not in this case as i did not buy up an opportunity that God put before me. i’m not taking on guilt or condemnation but i do receive this as a reproof, a correction, a reminder that my vocabulary needs to be full of life, full of the word, full of truth that will set myself and others free. Jesus spoke the word not for angles but for people like me to learn from His sacrifice.

Promise or Threat…

A few days a go one who is close to me sent me this passage. i doubt that he would have anticipated how relevant his verse would be just a few days later. i received an email earlier and it brought this verse to mind immediately as i read the words within the email.

All of this came from a discussion about the green pastures we use for our Onething Life gatherings on Fridays. Since we are using a diversified group of pastors, and speakers we were discussing about their motives and so he sent me these verses first and followed up with the one i want to focus on today.

Philippians 1:15-18 NCV – It is true that some preach about Christ because they are jealous and ambitious, but others preach about Christ because they want to help. They preach because they have love, and they know that God gave me the work of defending the Good News. But the others preach about Christ for selfish and wrong reasons, wanting to make trouble for me in prison. But it doesn’t matter. The important thing is that in every way, whether for right or wrong reasons, they are preaching about Christ. So I am happy, and I will continue to be happy.

Now for the focus of my post today.

2 Corinthians 5:9-10 NCV – Our only goal is to please God whether we live here or there, because we must all stand before Christ to be judged. Each of us will receive what we should get—good or bad—for the things we did in the earthly body.

i am sitting here thinking that i am going to disappoint someone in the decisions i will make over the next few days. The words of the verse are applicable to today. my only goal is to please God.(big period) Whether i or Onething lives “here” or “there”, my only goal is to please God. (again big period) The truth is i will stand before God to be judged, not for just these decisions i am about to make but all decisions from the past, present and future.

Each of us will receive what we should get—good or bad—for the things we did in the earthly body. i will receive what i should get—good or bad—for the things i did in the earthly body. That’s a promise, not a threat, and it’s a promise that i welcome.

What’s That Smell?

There is a saying that says, “Old fishermen never die; they just smell that way!” The saying reminds me of carnal Christianity that always has the smell of death about it. It stinks. It has a repulsive odor.

However, there is something refreshing when a beautiful young woman comes into a room wearing an elegant fragrant perfume. The aroma does not over power you, but when she leaves the sweet fragrance lingers on for a while. You can smell that fragrance on another woman a few days later and you are suddenly reminded of the beautiful young lady. So it is with genuine Christianity. If it is to be said that i love the Lord Jesus i will emit a lovely aroma.

That distinctive sweet smell is the Spirit of God bearing His fruit in my life. There are Spirit-filled people all around the world that have that distinctive fragrance of the presence of Christ filling them. It is a rich bouquet of the fruit of the Spirit.

2 Corinthians 2:12-14 When I arrived in Troas to proclaim the Message of the Messiah, I found the place wide open: God had opened the door; all I had to do was walk through it. But when I didn’t find Titus waiting for me with news of your condition, I couldn’t relax. Worried about you, I left and came on to Macedonia province looking for Titus and a reassuring word on you. And I got it, thank God!

^14-16In the Messiah, in Christ, God leads us from place to place in one perpetual victory parade. Through us, he brings knowledge of Christ. Everywhere we go, people breathe in the exquisite fragrance. Because of Christ, we give off a sweet scent rising to God, which is recognized by those on the way of salvation—an aroma redolent with life. But those on the way to destruction treat us more like the stench from a rotting corpse.

^16-17This is a terrific responsibility. Is anyone competent to take it on? No— but at least we don’t take God’s Word, water it down, and then take it to the streets to sell it cheap. We stand in Christ’s presence when we speak; God looks us in the face. We get what we say straight from God and say it as honestly as we can.

i stand in Christ’s presence when i speak; God looks me in the face. i get what i say straight from God and say it as honestly as i can.

i just felt like i needed to hear it again! This is an exercise that i need to apply everyday. First i must stand in Christ’s presence, meaning that i have invited Him into my day. Then i can begin to speak things of value. Then God looks me in the face is as though i am looking into a mirror and i am seeing the expression of my face that goes with the words that i am speaking. i don’t think i can even write the words… especially as i look back on what i have said today. i can’t say that i got some of the things i spoke today straight from God. Further more not everything i spoke today was as honest as i can. Somethings were hurt, frustration and emotions which are not truth but well dressed lies. So for me these words are prophetic as to where i want to be. They are my confession of faith that leads me on this journey of maturing in the word and becoming a sweet smelling fragrance which arises from the perpetual victory parade which is the life and times of me.

i stand in Christ’s presence when i speak; God looks me in the face. i get what i say straight from God and say it as honestly as i can.

A Letter…

While i was studying regarding posts past, i was paused while reading 2 Corinthians 1-11 and then was brought back to it today. There is a difference today. When i first read it, it was as the letter was written to me and today it’s as though i am the one writing the letter to unknowns.

^1-2That’s why I decided not to make another visit that could only be painful to both of us. If by merely showing up I would put you in an embarrassingly painful position, how would you then be free to cheer and refresh me?

^3-4That was my reason for writing a letter instead of coming—so I wouldn’t have to spend a miserable time disappointing the very friends I had looked forward to cheering me up. I was convinced at the time I wrote it, that what was best for me, was also best for you. As it turned out, there was pain enough just in writing the letter, more tears than ink on the parchment. But I didn’t write it to cause pain; I wrote it so you would know how much I care—oh, more than care—love you!

^5-8Now, regarding the one who started all this—the person in question who caused all this pain—I want you to know that I am not the one injured in this as much as, with a few exceptions, all of you. So I don’t want to come down too hard. What the majority of you agreed to as punishment is punishment enough. Now is the time to forgive this man and help him back on his feet. If all you do is pour on the guilt, you could very well drown him in it. My counsel now is to pour on the love.

^9-11The focus of my letter wasn’t on punishing the offender but on getting you to take responsibility for the health of the church this man. So if you forgive him, I forgive him. Don’t think I’m carrying around a list of personal grudges. The fact is that I’m joining in with your forgiveness, as Christ is with us, guiding us. After all, we don’t want to unwittingly give Satan an opening for yet more mischief—we’re not oblivious to his sly ways!

Perhaps through-out today or in days to come i will understand this better? Maybe a reader has insight to it? It could be prophetic and have somethng to do with me in the future or it could just be documentation today for an event that will happen in my childrens lives or even their childrens lives.

Fixed Eyes…

Psalm 43 twenty-four hours later.

Psalm 43 ^1-2 Clear my name, - at this time i am desiring to leave the facility that houses the Onething Campus. The details do not matter. i am the signer on the lease and it does not end until December 31st 2012. i am asking to leave for a multitude of reasons, i am asking for my name to be cleared from that lease.

God; stick up for me against these loveless, immoral people. – These words are as clear as they can be. Loveless people… i am actually okay with, because they don’t know any better, non believers. Immoral… is another thing, everyone understands morals they have none. Let me insert here that i am not taking issue with what they have done, are doing or will do. i am taking issue with how they do it and that’s my rub with many people and situations that i face.

Get me out of here, away from these lying degenerates. – That says it fairly well so no comment required.

I counted on you, God. Why did you walk out on me? – Now that’s blame and hold on, i am not there yet, but i feel myself slipping into that place. i am taking this as a guardrail against going to blaming God. i am counting on God. Who else can provide favor with man for me.

Why am I pacing the floor, wringing my hands over these outrageous people? - i want to say it’s because they are lying degenerates but… that would be giving them control over my life, as well as blaming them and it would also be a lie. i am pacing the floor because i am losing patience, not seeing the big picture, distracted by allowing my eyes to be fixed on them versus God. That’s why i am pacing the floor!

^3-4 Give me your lantern and compass, give me a map, – Which you already did with the woman from Teco less than two months ago, who told me to walk into my destiny. She said nothing about pacing the floor, wringing my hands over these outrageous people.

So I can find my way to the sacred mountain, to the place of your presence, To enter the place of worship, meet my exuberant God, Sing my thanks with a harp, magnificent God, my God. – i started my day by finding my way to the prayer room, to the place of His presence. i was able to enter into worship through the word and i did meet with God. All i knew to do was to be grateful versus what i was feeling prior.

⁵ Why are you down in the dumps, dear soul? Why are you crying the blues? – That’s a good question, but the answer is not a mystery as the Psalm reveals it in the next four words.

Fix my eyes on God— soon I’ll be praising again. He puts a smile on my face. He’s my God.

i am working through the fixing my eyes on God in part by being intentionally grateful for what i have, and where i am. i was hoping to post words of victory but as you have read it is a work in progress, a journey, and was not a destination to be arrived at yesterday.

i will close with Genesis 4:7 If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if you do not do well, sin crouches at your door; its desire is for you, but you must master it.

The picture is that the enemy is crouched like a wild animal at the door of my soul (my mind, will, and emotions) ready to spring through the open door, set up a stronghold of lies to protect himself, and devour ME! Sounds like i need some GUARDRAILS! You can hear more about guardrails by going to www.onethinglife.org and look under Green Pastures.

i must continually be aware of the enemy’s devices.  “Lest Satan should get an advantage over me: for i am not ignorant of his devices“ (II Corinthians 2:11). 

Wandering Eyes…

This is the day the lord has made and i CHOOSE to rejoice and be glad in it.

That’s the word and the word is the truth and so what else can i choose? This is one of those days that i dislike… as it’s a day that so far i am enduring. i am unable to put my finger on any one thing that makes it that way. Yet my soul is in unrest, for a moment there is total peace and in the next is anything but. i know the truth and i know what to do but it is a struggle. The Green Pastures are not a comfort but a point of contention today or let me say so far today. It seems that today i am on the verge of laying down my oars and giving up. Yet… yet, i am aware of it enough to know better and i know the consequences of doing so.

i got to the center early and did my choirs all the while listening to worship music. It was doing nothing for me and so i turned to a new app on my pad called Bible Is. It’s a program that reads the word to me with inflection as though it was a story being told to me. i like it and so today i started the app and set it on the psalms and it began with Psalm 40, then 41, then, 42 and then… then chapter 43 and that’s where i landed and remain for the time being. For the time being is significant. i have no intention on ending this day in this place. i will finish this day, if not this hour or, maybe two, strong. It is about the finish and i am becoming more aware of that every day. i may start slow or even weak but with my hunger passion and intention to finish strong, “this to shall pass.” That’s my “take Away” from Psalm 43. “This to shall pass!” IF i fix my eyes upon Him. Then i will be praising again and then He will put a smile on my face!

Psalm 43 ^1-2 Clear my name, God; stick up for me against these loveless, immoral people. Get me out of here, away from these lying degenerates. I counted on you, God. Why did you walk out on me? Why am I pacing the floor, wringing my hands over these outrageous people?
^3-4 Give me your lantern and compass, give me a map, So I can find my way to the sacred mountain, to the place of your presence, To enter the place of worship, meet my exuberant God, Sing my thanks with a harp, magnificent God, my God.
⁵ Why are you down in the dumps, dear soul? Why are you crying the blues? Fix my eyes on God— soon I’ll be praising again. He puts a smile on my face.       He’s my God. SELAH! (Pause and think on this)

Wanting, Wanting, Wanting

So i have been meditating on this little story for a couple of days now. my first question or thought this morning as i recapped what i have written thus far is, “What am i doing in this rowboat alone?” If i had a couple of people doing life with me then we could take turns rowing upstream and not get weary in doing so. i am also sure that if at any moment i would decide to quit rowing and lay down my oars, there would be others that would speak truth into my life and help me to see the error of my ways. Then i thought that if i had others around me going the same direction, i would not be so easily enticed to join the party boat. i would have others who are like-minded beside me and together we would protect each other, we would be in a heart and soul relationship.

Then came some other thoughts as i was discussing this with a friend. How many times have i wanted more than just a simple rowboat. How many times have i felt like i deserved an outboard motor at the least, i mean why should i have to row when so and so rides? When it gets right down to it i want more than a rowboat with a motor, i want at least a 21ft boat with dual motors. Not only will i have a back up if something should happen to one motor but when i’m hitting on all cylinders i will be able to go really fast. In my rowboat i must bring something to hear music on. In my 21ft speed boat it has a music system that rocks. In my rowboat a sack lunch is about all i can bring while in my 21ft speed boat i can attach a BBQ Grill to it and dine in style. My rowboat may allow me to bring one or two with me and my speed boat allows for…. let’s just call it a party.

i posted several months ago about me being willing to be a simple creation of God, no 21 feet of speed and comfort, but simply a rowboat with a pair of God-given oars, slowly but steadily rowing my way upstream and being perfectly content with it. As i look at it today it would be good to have a couple of others with me so that we can share in the rowing , for maturing in the word, to pray for one another, and encourage each other, and to study and apply the word.

i found a picture to present my last thought regarding this matter for today and that is, “what happens to all the abandon boats?” When i surrender my life to what the world and jump ship, what happens to my little row-boat or i should say, me? The picture below looks lonely, deserted, lifeless. But at least being on the party boat despite going the wrong way there seems to be something going on. Notice what some of the partiers on the party boat are doing in the second picture.

 

Momentum…

The oars of grace gave me the ability to resist the current and move upstream to my destiny of advancing the kingdom of God. my physical strength is my faith. Unfortunately my inner strength as i have written before grows weary of the fight. i often forget that i have what it takes when in reality i do. Eventually i lose hope, run out of steam and i quit.

Once i quit rowing, my boat, my life, my forward progress will keep moving forward for an unknown amount of time. It’s called momentum and unless i am watching my steps carefully i run the risk of becoming deceived. i experienced this in September of 2011 and by October of 2011 my forward progress ended. There is still some fruit in my life even though what encouraged or brought it into being, it no longer existed. i began to live life at ease, no longer diligent, no longer alert, yet still a Christian by most standards.

my life came to a stand still… and then… much to my surprise i began to drift backwards, downstream, slowly at first and then the speed kept pace with the current. Even though i pointed upstream, it is only in appearance. Boat pointed upstream but moving downstream. i have the appearance of Christianity. i know the talk, the songs, and the mannerisms, but truth be told i am conforming to the ways of the world.

Here’s another surprise. i eventually spot a party boat and now that i am going the same way i decide why be alone and i join them. Now i leave my boat and my oars (God’s grace) behind. We all get along wonderfully because now, we all know the songs, we all know the talk, we all know the mannerisms and we are all delusional.

Now i am no longer mocked or persecuted by the unbelieving world. In fact i am accepted and often hailed by the worlds influencers. Philippians 3:14 says, i press toward the goal for the upward call of God, but i put that to rest, by joining the party boat and just being along for the ride.

From all this i fall into one of the following categories of people.

Unbeliever: i just flow with the current, oblivious to the reality of want, want, want.

Believer: i press, press, press in the fight to mature in the word and “Be” what i was created to “Be.”

Deceived: my motive of wanting, wanting, wanting, through “Christian appearance” and the misuse of the word.