Mellifluous – A life-or-death fight!

Posted: September 28, 2010 in Mellifluous

Today’s song is the most difficult yet. i am listening over and over and so far all i have is a sadness of heart and a feeling of loneliness that is all to familiar. It’s not how i woke up this morning but where this song has taken me. i understand why this song would be selected to speak for a person as i have experienced days like this.

Days when i wake up, and i feel as though i have not slept a moment because of a bad dream. Days when i wake up, and for some strange reason it’s immediately a bad dream. Some would say i got up on the wrong side of the bed. i wish it were that easy. As though i could go back to bed and get up on the other side and all would be right again.

Days when i was feeling like there’s no one on my side. Recently i had a day such a day. It was an exhausting day because it seemed as though I was fighting constantly. i remember thinking to myself, i  just feel too tired to be fighting.

Rather than try to share my version of  that or should i say those days i’ll simply bold and comment about the words in this song called A Bad Dream by Keane. Then i’ll share the word that has finally come.

05 – A Bad Dream

Why do I have to fly
Over every town up and down the line?

my question was not why do i have to fly over every town but why do i have to do everything? Why am i the one who has to walk in love? Why do i have to pursue peace at all costs? Why me? Mind you i am the one who also says, “ask a wrong question and you get a wrong answer.”

I’ll die in the clouds above
And you that I defend, I do not love

Having been the underdog on many an occasion it has become quite natural for me to defend the underdog verses actually loving the person. i never said i had this all down. i am a work in progress.

I wake up, it’s a bad dream
No one on my side
I was fighting
But I just feel too tired
To be fighting
Guess I’m not the fighting kind

Where will I meet my fate?
Baby I’m a man, I was born to hate
i know this is a well dressed lie! See i have some boundaries about what delusions i will let get to me and what ones i won’t.
And when will I meet my end?
In a better time you could be my friend
Not so much a better time but if i were a different person.

The two lines about fate and my end are bolded because i have said for years that i wanted to live till i was 72 and then just go to sleep. Having gotten closer to that time i am leaving room for a few more years.

Wouldn’t mind it
If you were by my side
But you’re long gone
Yeah you’re long gone now

i realize i am running the risk of too many words for this post, but here goes. As i have said so many times that Ann Marie is my best friend and always has been. But on these days she becomes one of them. Them being those that i am fighting. The reason for that is the last two lines. But you’re long gone, yeah you’re long gone now. Even after 41 years of knowing her and 38 as husband and wife i have those moments where she is gone. Not that she is physically gone but gone in other very real ways. Knowing that she is not subject to what others have done, or might do i still have thoughts that i must take captive about her picking up one day and saying, “enough!” Lie! Lie! Well dressed lie! The first two lines “wouldn’t mind it if you were on my side are truth. Ann Marie can turn a bad dream day into roses. Beautiful but still filled with thorns to be dealt with. I don’t mind any day if she is on my side. i know this is all supposed to be about God but i’m just being honest. God will close out this post today, trust me.  The only bad dreams for me are when i let the lies overtake the truths.

Where do we go? To the only place i can, God!
I don’t even know but i do know!
My strange old face Not so much?
And I’m thinking about those days
And I’m thinking about those days
No, i’m thinking about this day!

And that about wraps it up. God is strong, and he wants you strong. So take everything the Master has set out for you, well-made weapons of the best materials. And put them to use so you will be able to stand up to everything the Devil throws your way. This is no afternoon athletic contest that we’ll walk away from and forget about in a couple of hours. This is for keeps, a life-or-death fight to the finish against the Devil and all his angels.

Be prepared. You’re up against far more than you can handle on your own. Take all the help you can get, every weapon God has issued, so that when it’s all over but the shouting you’ll still be on your feet. Truth, righteousness, peace, faith, and salvation are more than words. Learn how to apply them. You’ll need them throughout your life. God’s Word is an indispensable weapon. In the same way, prayer is essential in this ongoing warfare. Pray hard and long. Pray for your brothers and sisters. Keep your eyes open. Keep each other’s spirits up so that no one falls behind or drops out. Ephesians 6:10-18 Message

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