Lachrymose – Random Tears

Posted: November 26, 2010 in Lachrymose

No tears in the writer, no tears in the reader. No surprise in the writer, no surprise in the reader. Robert Frost.

Today i am just sharing random thoughts on whatever. There may be no coherency to them as a whole other than they are all occurring during this quiet time.

Life in the tech world changes many things. If i were writing this on paper versus a keyboard with a screen the paper would be blotchy from the tears stains. The paper would actually capture the tears and mark the paper forever. Then as the reader would look upon the paper they would see the tear stains and perhaps wonder what was the deeper meaning of the words on this page. What would cause the writer to shed tears. More specifically, what would cause ed to shed tears as he wrote this?  i think that somehow it would be more personal and for sure more intimate and this grasp the reason for my doing this in the first place.

Yesterday i was asked to pray for the meal. i had great difficulty focusing on praying for the meal as my heart could not only sense the many needs in the room but was overtaken with compassion for these extended family members. It was difficult to mumble out some words of thanks for food when there were wounds and hurts that needed mending. i had to fight hard to hold back the weepyness from taking over that moment and then having to explain myself while their food got cold. While i enjoyed seeing the adults of what once were new-born children when i first met them, it was also saddening. So much talent in so many areas. Music has always been a gift in this family and yet right now not one is doing anything with it. i listened with care and heard so many thank yous to those that had made the food for this day of Thanksgiving and yet not a single word about God, or spiritual things. Twenty one family members all gathered from far away and it was as though God was looking down as an uninvited guest verses moving around from within each who were in attendance.

i am on a daily basis inviting God to come with me to the room and to the table where i will again stuff  myself. Not to look down on me but to look within and show Himself as an outward sign of what is within me.  i had hoped that on Christmas Eve i would be able to share max Laccado’s story of The Christmas Angel, but it’s two hours long and grandchildren will not be able to survive that and thus neither will the adults. Maybe i should just give the book as a gift and then tell them that once they have read it there is another gift waiting for them? Maybe no gifts until read?Strings attached? Yep! Not going to work. Well i can give the book and express that this is a gift because it means so much to me. i guess i’ll be confined to just praying for God to reveal himself in me and through me during that visit and i think i might be better off with a handkerchief than tissues.

i wonder what will bring me to tears today? Last night i watched Bruce Almighty and Morgan Freeman who plays God did so. Even though it was just for a moment the thoughts lingered for the night and then into this morning. He says in one line, “They are always looking up.” i thought that was the idea or the goal that He wanted people to do. Look up to God? But His next lines expressed the disappointment in people doing so. He spoke about people only looking up when things get hard and then it’s not as a revelation to the love of God but as a want for something.

Harriet Beecher Stowe says, “The bitterest tears shed over graves are for words left unsaid and deeds left undone.”

The people around me are not yet in their graves and so i still have time to speak the unspoken and do the undone before that day arrives. Then on that day my Tears will be the telescope by which i will see far into heaven and watch as these people who touched my life rejoice.

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Comments
  1. Quite a beautiful website. I built mine and i was looking for some design ideas and you gave me a few. Did you develop the website alone?

    Thank you

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