What If?

Posted: June 27, 2011 in 1 Up and 1 Down

It’s been ten days since my fingers, thoughts and spirit all came to the keyboard on my laptop. It was not for lack of thoughts but time was allowed to slip away on a very large project. This weekend Ann Marie and i did nothing on Sunday except watch a couple of movies and attempted some mindless rest. One movie was titled What if… ? The premise is similar to It’s A Wonderful Life. A person is unhappy with how life has appeared to work out and so he gets a divine opportunity to see life without him, but in this case he gets to see What if. His what if is marrying his high school sweetheart and going into the ministry or pursuing a career. Anyway 10 days of my life’s journey will never be read by my children or grandchildren.

i am not much of a what if person. i have never asked what if i had never married Ann Marie or what if i had married someone else. i think that’s because of my satisfaction with who we are as husband and wife. i have known from the day we met that we were meant to be and on Friday it will have been 39 years of marriage and another 3 years going together before that. High school sweethearts, she was 15 and i was 17. My mother had to sign for me to get married as i was under 21. No… no what ifs in this category.

i have been trying to think back over my working years and see if there is a what if to be found there? Not a one comes to mind. i have pretty much done whatever as far as working and providing a living. Another no what if… is in having my children. i have one son and one daughter, and have no regrets with either of them. i got to experience one of each and what a blessing they have been… for the most part. i have never met another child that i was more proud of than my two children. They have grown to be incredible in every way and i am very proud of what they are becoming as a husband, a wife, a mother, a father, and as people who are working to change this world for the better. Nope no what if there.

One of the biggest areas that i thought i might find a what if in, was with my relationship with God. i am in no way saying that i have always gotten it right or that i even came close to being all i was created to be… but… no what if. i can honestly say it just isn’t a question that i am familiar with. i guess it comes from not being afraid to live life out loud. Ann Marie and i have had a policy since our early years that we would have no secrets and to this day i am not aware of any secrets that i hold and my trust believes the same of her.This has spread into my life in general, i have no secrets, you don’t have to wonder what i am thinking or if i am upset with you. i will tell you, no secrets.

If given the opportunity to see some portion of my life lived out another way… i could not find what it would be. i have no desire to see what life without Ann Marie would be like. i have no thought of what life would be like without my children. i have no curiosity as to what other career i may have pursued and lastly i certainly have no desire to try life without God.

What if … i just stay grateful!


  1. Todd says:

    You know it’s funny but I have been more persistent in checking your blog in the last ten days then in the last ten months. The only what if I can think of is What if I never came to worship in the prayer room that night 4 years ago.

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