Expectations – Time Line

Posted: October 3, 2011 in Expectations, Wandering Thoughts

“Good is not good, when better is expected.” Fuller, Thomas

Good better best, never let it rest, till your good is the better, and your better is the best.

God says He knows the plans He has for me, that the hairs on my head are numbered. This truth has never been more evident to me than in the past 90 days. In the middle of Isaiah 58 i’m driving down the road, minding my own business, when the word EXPECTATIONS seems to appear and suspend itself in front of my car about 12 feet ahead. Thirty five minutes of the word EXPECTATIONS staring me in the face. My initial reaction, i didn’t have any. That’s right i didn’t have any, i have lowered them for everybody and everything. It’s taken five years for me to get there but i made it. i can handle most anything now. And i meant that the way it sounded. But… if were that easy i would not have three weeks of postings on this single word EXPECTATIONS.

It will be important to know the time line over the past 60 days to understand why i am posting on this topic. It would be simpler to just move on but i believe that “there is power in the process to the promise,” that’s what i am sharing, the process which has given me the power to proceed toward the promise. The time line. i begin looking at Isaiah 58 because of an email that Ann Marie received and then forwarded to me. i then get the word expectations while driving to the center. No clue as to why because…, that will come later. In my initial study of Isaiah 58 i find the three elements of feeding, housing and clothing the poor, expectations? Then the second tier of words that expose unfair practices, blaming victims, and gossip, expectations? The final chapters are all about Sabbath, expectations? On the final post i use a quote that speaks volumes to me. Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books that are now written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer.” Then comes a week of posts regarding the quote. And if that were not enough i watched a DVD series, Staying In Love, by Andy Stanley and the last session is about expectations and the gap between expectations and behavior. On top of that i watched another series Two Gather, by Craig Grochel and it talks about the expectations of doing life together in community. All the while i am journaling what you will read over the next few weeks regarding the process. Here’s the short version. i am led to what i believe gives me clarity as to some things at the prayer center and what to do over the remainder of our lease. Along with that i am given a word, expectations, that i have come to believe i can do better without than with. In a quote i get some personal clarity to be patient toward the unresolved issues of my heart and to stop looking for answers which led me to believe that i didn’t need to figure out what the unresolved issues in my heart were. Wow, this is more complicated when i try writing it than if i could just speak it. Any way because of the series Staying in Love i find out that the unresolved issues in my heart are unmet expectations in the behavior of others. Which…. have been growing over the past three years. Each one expanding the horizon of unmet expectations to the point of perhaps losing hope, and the word says, “hope deferred makes the heart-sick.” Ohhhh, i am led to one of my favorite verses which says that, “I am to guard my heart with all diligence.” Didn’t do such a great job of that. And that brings me to today where i begin a serious look at that single word EXPECTATIONS.

Expectation: the act or state of looking forward or anticipating, an expectant mental attitude, presumed degree of probability of an occurrence. Expectations or lack of expectations are the reason why i do or do not do something… in other words anything done without knowing the reason why, will keep me aimlessly wandering as well as waste valuable time that can never be gotten back. Please, i have not drawn any conclusions regarding EXPECTATION so i may sound confused, contradictory, scattered, delusional or utterly lost, but i am sure by the time i am done i will be… shall we say changed

“In a word, I was too cowardly to do what I knew to be right, as I had been too cowardly to avoid doing what I knew to be wrong.” ― Charles Dickens

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