Expectations – Aimless Wandering

Posted: October 4, 2011 in Expectations, Wandering Thoughts

Let us be about setting high standards for life, love, creativity, and wisdom. If our expectations in these areas are low, we are not likely to experience wellness. Setting high standards makes every day and every decade worth looking forward to.   Anderson, Greg

The last portion of the sentence in the closing paragraph yesterday said, aimlessly wandering as well as wasting valuable time that can never be gotten back,” it’s a fair description of where i had been since at least the beginning of this year. Let me make it clear that i do not see everything thing i have done as aimless wandering as that would lead to regret and i do not regret one single thing, including the mistakes. Am i aimlessly wandering because of lowwer or no expectations? That’s a great question. i am so aware of how much more was possible, is that an expectation? i have some time left to “be” that so much more. It’s not about numbers or pats on the back, it’s about what comes out of having the right relationships around me. Perhaps more detail will come down the road. It’s a good thing i don’t go by feeling and yet i can not disregard them either. i have no clue as to how much of my thoughts i will post as in some cases it can get very personal, not for me but for others.

The reason why i go to the store is because i expect to buy something… the reason i would go to a wedding… is because i expect to witness a marriage, the reason why i go to a restaurant… is because i expect to eat food, good food at that, which is fairly priced and served in a timely manner as well as served hot or cold whichever is appropriate. OKAY… i have expectations and yes… yes, in some areas more than others which makes my statement that i have lowered my expectations of everybody and everything around me more serious.

So let me share a few statements….

Expectation is the purpose for a thing and without purpose there would be no expectation.

Goals and objectives are what i expect to reach in a certain amount of time and it is these goals that keep me headed in the right direction.

Preparation and proper support is needed to obtain what is expected.

Expectations are the father to disappointment.

Oh i’m sorry i didn’t mean to imply that i was agreeing or disagreeing with them at this time. This all actually began about 4 months ago when Ann Marie asked me what i wanted to do when our lease is up at the Center. i said i have no driving plan, that i have done pretty much what i have wanted to do through-out my life and i am now out of fresh ideas. She then said, “so you have no vision?” i responded, “not at this time.” i knew this was not the end of our conversation.

Here is what i have come to realize thus far regarding this word expectations. i have found that in my circle of influence the lowering of my expectations, right or wrong presented me with the opportunity to lose hope, again right or wrong aside. The word says that “without a vision people perish,” “aimlessly wandering as well as wasting valuable time that can never be gotten back,” That being said i have had a sick heart and to some degree perishing. HEAR ME… i am not sitting around waiting to die. i was just pushing through each day to survive, to hang in there as we say. i am not depressed nor disappointed. i have been trying to holding things and people together versus pursuing and running the race. But in my personal life, putting aside the lack of expectations, i am pushing into God, more for the future than for today, right or wrong. i am aware that some of this may sound harsh, but it is not intended to, nor is it to place blame, nor bring guilt nor condemnation to anyone. i am completely responsible for the condition of my heart, my actions or lack of, my words, healthy or not. i struggled with posting this, i have no intention of hurting anyone, but my children and grandchildren need to read of my struggles and learn from my successes and failures so they can have hope of being overcomers in hard times. For me that’s when truth comes to light, in the hard times. Do i just curl up and want to hide or do i press in and “ride on the high places of the earth?” (previsous words in a post.)

Now let’s take a look at this word expectation…

“It is better to lead from behind and to put others in front, especially when you celebrate victory when nice things occur. You take the front line when there is danger. Then people will appreciate your leadership.” Nelson Mandela

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