Ezra 9:8

Posted: January 25, 2012 in To be or not to be?, Wandering Thoughts

While studying i was led to Ezra 9:8. i would not normally find myself in the book of Ezra but as i said i feel i was led there and perhaps in light of present circumstances it is appropriate. This is one of those extremely personal posts and lachrymose is an understatement! Reproof and correction are never wanted but always needed.

Ezra 9:8 “Now for a brief time God, our God, has allowed us, this battered band, to get a firm foothold in his holy place so that our God may brighten our eyes and lighten our burdens as we serve out this hard sentence.

We were slaves; yet even as slaves, our God didn’t abandon us. He has put us in the good graces of the kings of Persia and given us the heart to build The Temple of our God, restore its ruins, and construct a defensive wall in Judah and Jerusalem.

Just maybe now for a brief time (this comes as no revelation as i have been told for over a year that time was growing short and i don’t mean that as an alarmist but as for me and my relationship with God personally, for me to “be” as He has directed in every area of my life.) God, my God is allowing me and this battered band (i have been doing life with a small group for some time and many or i should say all of them have heard the same word about time being short for them to act upon what they know of God.) to get a firm foothold ( INTENTIONAL, not a what ever will be will be , not wishy-washy, not half-hearted, not what i think but a firm hold on what i know.) in His holy place (Onething Campus, Onething Prayer Center, and Onething Life) ( in spite of our lease coming to a close and apparent end, at least at the current location, that my time there and seemingly this battered bands time there is not finished.) so that God may brighten my eyes and lighten my burdens (this says to me that God is working in my life and that there are benefits to be gotten by finishing strong in whatever, whether the actual end or just a season change in my life.) as i serve out His hard sentence. (yes, it has seemed like a hard sentence this past year, but i never… well not never, thought of it as God’s sentence on me. In my sane moments i knew that my own decisions created the hard sentence and as i sit here today it feels really hard no matter how i look at it. Consequences!) i was a slave; yet even as a slave, my God didn’t abandon me. (regardless of what i have or have not done my God did not and has not abandon me. This word today is His voice speaking to me.) He has put me in the good graces (i sense that my time is not over (yet) as in ending, but certainly changing as God always does with things. i have a hope which i didn’t have a few months ago. These words lead me to think that there are relationships that God has ordained and that they are the good graces of God.) of the kings of Persia and given me the heart to build The Temple of my God, (i have not lost heart to build and i’ll leave it at that for now.) (no i have to say a little more. In the past five plus years i have attempted to build what i have had a heart for most of my life. That being unity of the body,  and the need for a personal intimate relationship with God in every single persons life. But… but, i did not always count the cost to Ann Marie nor myself and i find myself coming up to a place, feeling like so much more could have been done, but i ran out of resources. Not just financial but emotional, physical and every other “al” that can be identified. Being a giver i did not count the cost when i continually gave it all away without a care in the world. Thinking that i could just depended on God to make it all-right, that in a sense i could be many others source of faith and finances.)

Luke 14 says, “For which of you, wishing to build a farm building, does not first sit down and calculate the cost [to see] whether he has sufficient means to finish it? Otherwise, when he has laid the foundation and is unable to complete [the building], all who see it will begin to mock and jeer at him, Saying, This man began to build and was not able (worth enough) to finish. Or what king, going out to engage in conflict with another king, will not first sit down and consider and take counsel whether he is able with ten thousand [men] to meet him who comes against him with twenty thousand? And if he cannot [do so], when the other king is still a great way off, he sends an envoy and asks the terms of peace.

Now i must surrender and go to the King while we are months from finishing and ask for terms of peace.) restore its ruins, ( i feel like that is where i am today in some parts of my life, in ruins and now i need to spend time restoring, Ann Marie and i, Onething Campus, Onething Prayer, and i believe that Onething Life is the venue for that to happen and no Ann Marie and i are fine but i or i should say we want more than fine, we want great, excellent, awesome, incredible, and construct a defensive wall (this says to me that i need to be intentional in keeping the enemy out of my life, my marriage, my family, the campus, the prayer room and out of the battered bands lives as much as i can, knowing they have a free will and choice.) in Judah and Jerusalem.

As it stands right now i will not post the rest of this week, and i’m not sure when i will again, as i need to INTENTIONALLY meditate and ACT upon this word. Let me begin by asking Ann Marie to forgive my lack of consideration on her part and placing her in this place without counting the cost, without considering your need and all women’s need for security, for giving away what was not all mine to give.

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