Archive for July, 2012

In my reading i find that some have reached the conclusion that the Bible teaches each and every person possesses a sinful nature, and Charles Spurgeon summed it up when he said: “As the salt flavors every drop in the Atlantic, so does sin affect every atom of our nature. It is so sadly there, so abundantly there, that if you cannot detect it, you are deceived.”

This whole topic may be complicated by the fact that Jesus acknowledged that someone could perform good acts and yet still have an evil sin nature when he said, “What man is there among you who, when his son asks for a loaf, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, he will not give him a snake, will he? If you (ed) then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give what is good to those who ask Him!” (Matthew 7:9–11).

i found this statement… The reality of the sin nature brings with it many disappointing consequences. The first effect is that each and every person is born spiritually dead. That is, they are devoid of any spiritual life or desire for the things of God. i must disagree with this completely i must! i believe that every person is born with a desire for the things of God in spite of their awareness, their words, or their actions. It is my opinion that this is the very reason men and women are always searching, thus addictions have taken the place of God and an entire industry is supported by those trying to cure and those trying to be cured..

As i go back and read this statement again i find that i don’t agree with the premise that every person is born spiritually dead either.

The place where i found the statement, justifies their words by the following, they say that Jesus affirmed this condition when asked by a person if he could first go bury his father before following Christ. Jesus responded by saying, “Follow Me, and allow the dead to bury their own dead” (Matthew 8:22). In his letter to the Ephesians, Paul (describing his readers’ condition prior to being born again) saying simply “And you were dead in your trespasses and sins”  (Ephesians 2:1). i’m sorry but i do not find support for every person being born spiritually dead, devoid of any spiritual life or desire for the things of God within these words.

If i have no desire for the things of God then how do i respond to His calling? God draws me to Him. Untill i return to Him there will always be an emptyness. Something within me will be uneasy and peace will be elusive. i believe that’s what i search for as there is a desire within me to find God and to serve God which is my only hope of finding peace in this life here on earth. Therefore it’s time to look at other options for how this works.

i have to go back to the question of “Why.” It seems to me that the why makes a difference when it comes to how i get free. So i am going to share what i have found but, unfortunately as of this post there does not seem to be a clear-cut answer. So the quest goes on.

Genesis 3:22 And the Lord God said, Behold, the man has become like one of Us [the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit], to know [how to distinguish between] good and evil and blessing and calamity; and now, lest he put forth his hand and take also from the tree of life and eat, and live forever—

The word says that God created humankind originally without the ability to know good and evil or as some put it a sin nature, which i’m not sure is the correct term or even that the two are the same thing. “Then God said, “Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness. . . . God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them” (Genesis 1:26-27). Genesis 3 records the fall of Adam and Eve, and what i understand to this point is that with that fall, sin entered into the two previously sinless creatures that God had made. No doubt there and…. when they, in turn, had children, their sin nature was passed along to their offspring. That sin nature showed itself in the very first man born from Adam and Eve, a man named Cain who became a murderer (Genesis 4:8). A question one might have would be, if Adam and Eve did not know the difference between good and evil, were they then to not eat from the tree out of sheer obedience? i am not implying that obedience is a bad thing. Or… did God consider that to be faith, that they were to, by faith, accept God at His word, without knowledge of good and evil?

One opinion of this whole thing is that instead of only the image of God being passed down through the human procreation process, a sin nature was passed as well: “When Adam had lived one hundred and thirty years, he became the father of a son in his own likeness, according to his image, and named him Seth” (Genesis 5:3). The fact is that each and every person born from the beginning has inherited the sin nature of his parents. As i said this is one perspective.

I am not saying that i have not sinned that’s not even up for discussion. i know that all men (except for you of course) have sinned. An alcoholic is not one because his father was? Though he may be or may become one. But the alcoholic becomes one when he chooses alcohol as an option to God. Doesn’t it work the same way with sin? Don’t i become one of my own accord?

In broad terms i can see this perspective, but when i look at it more specifically, as it applies to my addiction to sin, i struggle to see it clearly. It’s as though i could say and maybe rightly so, Adam made me do it, so it’s all his fault?

Laziness? MSG? Prayer without action? Religion? People pleasing? ADDICTIONS? Yet not one single list has sin as an addiction? i’ll give you that several of these are duplications with different words but, it seems as though there is an addiction for everything we do in life. If i love Ann Marie too much then i have an addiction to love or is it Ann Marie? Not only did i find the list itself to be of interest but the comments that follow some of the addictions are just as interesting like the one that says all addicts are codependant as well. Does that mean i don’t suffer from just one addiction but a minimum of two? Truth is if i go by this list and it’s explanations i am addicted to addictions(note the s)? Hows about that?

LAddictions beginning with L

Lust

Laziness

Love

Lacquer thinners

Liquor

M – Addictions beginning with M

Masturbation

Masochism,

Meetings (as in hiding in meeting)

Men

Marriage

Muscle Relaxants

Marijuana

MSG

NAddictions beginning with N

Nicotine

Narcotics

OAddictions beginning with O

Over achieving

Over eating – Usually affiliated with sugar addiction

Over working – Over anything can become an addiction

Occult

PAddictions beginning with P

Prayer (without action)

Pleasure

Phobia’s – Blocked energy due to overwhelmed or unidentifiable feelings which produce ‘fight or flight’ adrenalin within the body. Sometimes caused by unresolved grief. Abusive situations may also be a phobia breeding ground as family or others who should be trusted are not trustworthy leaving gaps in an individuals structure system.

Prescription Drugs – Addiction or dependence upon prescribed medications. Commonly, though not always, is within the mood modifying drug family. Giving up the long dependencies on prescribed drugs is best done with the help of medical professionals and sometimes requires a detoxification facility to ease unpredictable withdrawal symptoms

Pornography

People Pleasing

Perfectionism

Pain Killers

QAddictions beginning with Q

Quintessential Behavior (perfectionism)… sorry had to have aQ 🙂

R Addictions beginning with R

Religion – It is wise to examine ones attitudes in all areas.

Relationships

Racetrack betting and action

Risky behaviors – Sports or work related high risk ventures. Adrenalin addiction caused by receiving large doses of self-produced adrenalin

S – Addictions beginning with S

Sedatives

Sex Addiction – In abusive or negative forms sex can be an adrenalin addiction caused by receiving large amounts of self-produced adrenalin

  • Adrenalin addiction is a progressive addiction where exciting events become usual and greater excitement must be reached to produce the same high.
  • This is dangerous when sex acts are used to produce the adrenalin as abusive situations may occur

Sadism – Adrenalin addiction caused receiving self-produced adrenalin in a slave /master situation. Common in codependent relationships

Satanism – Adrenalin addiction caused by receiving large doses of self-produced adrenalin leading up to and during highly charged rituals or ceremonies. In extreme cases where sacrificial ceremonies occur the adrenalin is increased by ingesting still more highly concentrated adrenalin found in blood of freshly sacrificed animal.

  • The combined high is often thought to be spiritual when it is actually double dosing on adrenalin

Smoking – Addiction to nicotine and other addictive substances present in tobacco, marijuana, cocaine, opium and other sources. The smoked substances also sometimes include other hidden addictive substances to make them an even larger rush and a more marketable product.

Shopping

Serotonin – the self-produced drug of choice for manic depression and bipolar folks

SELF – ego

Self Help Books, programs

Self Mutilation

Spotlights (see fame)

Sniffing Solvents

Sleeping

Sleeping Pills

Shock Treatments

Speed

Steroids

T – Addictions beginning with T

Torturing – emotionally or physically – Power addiction

Television

Therapy – codependency as opposed to getting on with life.

Thinners

THC

Thrills

Tobacco

Tramadol

Tranquilizers

Travel

Trichotillomania – Pulling out own hair compulsively.

U – Addictions beginning with U

Ultram – Narcotic Like Pain Reliever aka Tramadol

Underachieving

V – Addictions beginning with V

Valium

Vandalism

Vicodin – watch some old shows of the series “House!”

Video

Video Games

Violence

Voodoo

Vomiting – see Bulimia

Voyeurism

W – Addictions beginning with W

Wealth

Weed

Weightlifting

Women

Work

Wheat Flour – Carbohydrates

X – Addictions beginning with X

X-box – see Gaming

XXX Movies and Magazines

Y – Addictions beginning with Y

Young Sex

Z – Addictions beginning with Z

Zoo sex (sex with animals)

While investigating addictions i found several web sites that have lists of all the addictions as recognized by those that treat addictions. i found it interesting what is classified as an addiction. Here’s the thing. My addiction is not on any list. REALLY? I’ll come back to that in later posts.

Addictions beginning with A

Alcohol – A common addiction which seems acceptable in social situations but is very progressive. Also a sugar addiction as alcohol and sugar are similar in chemical makeup and synthesize in the body in similar ways. A depressant type drug which leads to very complicated and repetitive depressions

Aspirin – Usually acceptable for small pains and fevers and taken in small dosages for heart health. Excesses are not good

Aerosol sniffing

Action – any activity that is risky and produces adrenalin

Adrenalin – The body self produces this ‘fight or flight’ drugs. Is progressive needing greater risks to achieve the same feeling

Amphetamines

Anti Depressants – Addiction to prescribed medications is quite common. Because a series of educated professionals have been involved in the process of this addiction it is quite hard to stop. Often depressions occur as a result of caffeine, nicotine, alcohol and/or sugar addictions. These root addictions need to be addressed to achieve good recovery. Anti Depressants generally are designed to trigger the release of a self-produced hormonal drug called serotonin which is the feel good drug produced by the body. The addiction to the anti depressant is actually an addiction to the self-produced drug serotonin. Good recovery will include ways to naturally trigger the serotonin. One way of doing this is included in the 12 step way of recovery – particularly in the 12th step – by doing random acts of kindness.

Anime

Applause

Art – Getting high to produce better art is common. Also the lifestyle of an impoverished artist can be addictive. Collecting art one can not afford may create adrenalin like compulsive shopping or gambling.

Arson

Asthma – A condition that is often worsened by the addiction to the rescue medication. Adrenalin is produced when the asthmatic fights for the next breath to the point where life threatening experiences become regular and no longer cause the body to produce the required adrenalin

Attention

Authority

Auto Racing

Addictions beginning with B

Bulimia – Purging excess calories from a binge by vomiting or over exercising. The actual addiction is to the eating part.. often sugar addiction

Barbiturates – A common drug addiction

Betting – Gamblers get a high from the adrenalin produced by their bodies while in action. The larger the risk the greater the amount of adrenalin

Beastiality – Sex with animals to produce adrenalin and endorphins present in sex situations. Carries a great deal of guilt and shame in today’s religious society. Guilt and shame also produces addictive adrenalin directly in the body.

Body Building

Addictions beginning with C

Colas – Many soft drinks contain large amounts of addictive sugar and caffeine which create mood swings and may be diagnosed as polar or other manic behavioral disorders. Sugar assimilates in the body the same way alcohol does and is a strong depressant. Symptoms of sugar addiction are often heavy depressions and manic behavior.

Codependency – An adrenalin addiction caused by living in chaos. Codependents will often force crisis to get another supply of adrenalin. Codependents often hide their more socially acceptable addictions behind another persons addictions. All addicts are co dependents as well

Cocaine and Crack Cocaine – A common powerful and illegal street drug. High is produced from the drug and as well the illegal activity produces adrenalin

Caffeine – Produces a high when coffee, tea, soft drinks or chocolate are consumed. Usually socially acceptable but it is progressive and the body requires more drug to get same feeling over time. Usually combined with sugar for an even greater high. Like any high the resulting lows are present and cause severe depressions and mood swings.

Coin collecting – Usually a nice hobby but any hobby can become a compulsion in the hands of a multiple addict. Expensive and can produce a gamblers adrenalin high by overestimating the value of finds. Adrenalin is addictive and progressive so greater finds must be made.

Crime – Pure adrenalin in its highest form when life or reputation is threatened. Addictive in that higher risks must be taken to achieve the same high.. Very difficult cycle to interrupt as punishments also produce life threatening experiences which keep the addiction going.

Coffee – Produces a caffeine high when consumed. Usually socially acceptable but it is progressive and the body requires more drug to get same feeling over time. Usually combined with sugar for an even greater high. Like any high the resulting lows are present and cause severe depressions and mood swings. Depressions associated with coffee addictions are often misdiagnosed and simply add heavy medications to the addicts life. Withdrawal from caffeine is about four days of flu like symptoms which is relatively short if cut out completely and compared to years of taking anti depressants.

Addictions beginning with D

Drugs – Illegal Street drugs produce various highs as well as adrenalin highs associated with illegal activities. Prescription drugs for depression related disorders often medicate symptoms when the root causes may be simple sugar and caffeine addictions. Many over the counter drugs contain large amounts of sugar as well which add to depressions and manic behaviors. Some medical drugs are helpful of course.

Drunk Driving – An adrenalin high produced by the high risk illegal activity of drinking and driving. Extremely high risk as life is usually at stake.

Diuretics – Eating disorder associated addiction. Produces adrenalin which gives a feeling of power over ones self

Addictions beginning with E

Ego – You name it! Exercising (excessive) Adrenalin and endorphins produced. Addictive and progressive in that more exertion must be accomplished to achieve the same high.

Endorphins – A healthy drug produced in the body and brain. Unhealthy sex, porn, crime, gambling and exercise addictions are symptoms of this basic drug addiction

Addictions beginning with F

Fantasizing (excessive) as opposed to dreaming,

Food addiction – Usually associated with the results of cravings caused by sugar addiction. Artificial sweeteners are appetite enhancers and cause huge cravings. Excessive food can act as a dull feelings

Fetishes – adrenalin addiction caused by self-created adrenalin induced by the fear or fantasy

Fame

Addictions beginning with G

Gambling – Gamblers get a high from the adrenalin produced by their bodies while in action. The larger the risk the greater the amount of adrenalin

Addictions beginning with H

Heroin and Opium

Husbands (relationships),

Addictions beginning with I

Isolation

Imagination – A good characteristic in most cases, but a luxury for an early recovering addict … and a self-destructive minefield for a practicing addict. Living in “your head” is common amongst all addicts. One statistic is that addicts do approximately 80,000 words of self talk per day – so this addicted ‘ head ‘ is a very busy place. One saying in 12 step programs is that the head is like ‘a dangerous neighborhood, do not go there alone’. The lack of reliable structure in today’s daily life leaves a lot of room for imaginative research

Internet – Many addictions are available on the internet. Sex, Porn, gambling, relationships to name a few. Most porn and gambling activities produce adrenalin which is highly addictive.

Addictions beginning with J

Joking about serious matters. Hiding behind humor is usually a codependent family behavior

Job (workaholism) An addiction to the controllable living space afforded by work. Provides the endorphins associated with being appreciated

Junk collecting

Addictions beginning with K

Kinky sex – see sex addiction below

Kleptomania – A form of adrenalin addiction where a high is produced by the illegal act of theft.

i may be tempted to think i can kick the problem on my own, but that rarely works. It takes the right people around me. At Onething we get people who are required to serve community service hours for bad behavior. I always ask what have you learned and the answer has been the same for the past 5 years and with every one of them. They say, “I was in the wrong place, at the wrong time with THE WRONG PEOPLE.” The people i do life with make a difference. Then most importantly it takes a personal, intimate, minute by minute, eternal relationship with the Father.

Unfortunately, overcoming sin is not easy. Quitting sin is one of the hardest things i have ever attempted. It’s not a sign of weakness that i need help. Most people who will try to kick any addiction problem need assistance or a treatment program to do so.

i am restarting the treatment program of renewing my mind, i shared on Friday in addition to the following steps. In addition i will spend more time on the renewing of my mind as that’s the key.

  • i am telling my friends that i have made a decision to stop sinning. True friends will respect my decision. i need a group of friends who will be 100% supportive and hold me accountable, not just tell me that everything is okay. This may mean that i won’t be able to hang out with some of the friends who desire to participate willingly in sin.
  • i need friends or family to be available. i might need to call someone or just talk. If i’m going through a tough time, i can’t handle things on my own — i am counting on the help of my family and friends.
  • i must not participate in things that i know are or maybe sinful. It’s the story about a little poop in the brownies. (goggle it)
  • i have a plan about what i’ll do if i find myself in a place where sin is exposed. The temptation will be there sometimes, but if i know how i’m going to handle it, i’ll be OK.
  • Having an addiction doesn’t make me a bad or weak person. If i fall back into old patterns (backslide) a bit, i need to repent as soon as possible. There’s nothing to be ashamed about, but it’s important to get back on track so that all of the hard work i put into my recovery is not lost.

Above all, i want to offer a friend or others who are battling any addiction lots of encouragement and praise. It may seem corny, but hearing that i care may be just the kind of motivation they need.

Okay… Okay… Okay already. My addiction is to sin. That seems to be my only answer. Addiction: the state of being enslaved to a habit or practice or to something that is psychologically or physically habit-forming, to such an extent that its cessation causes severe trauma. Why do i sin? Because it’s comfortable. Because everyone else is doing it. Because it makes me feel good. Because i can’t quit cold turkey, as it’s to hard and depressing. AND… i keep thinking that i can control it. i do it… because…. i am addicted to it! i have noticed that the normal things that I had enjoyed doing were slowly getting less and less desirable. It’s not as though i set out to engage in sin although i suppose that’s not entirely true. The possibility is always there. Satan is crouching at my door, seeing if i am willing to be devoured. My friends just think i am being extremely hard on myself. They would compare me to people they know and determine that i was in great shape and that i was just tired. i am a well-functioning “christian”/addict. i don’t miss days of work or ignore my responsibilities. Over the past several years i had fallen into a grace dependency, that is until about 6 months ago when i was shaken back to reality and an awakened to the fact that i was living in presumption. This is a summary of much more. When it came to my life grace applied, while when it came to others it was truth required. In Romans chapters 1-11 Paul teaches me all of the great doctrine regarding the gospel of God’s righteousness that is mine through faith in Christ. Paul then begins to exhort me to godly living. How am i to live in light of the saving power of the gospel? Romans 12–16 is where i am directed to look for such teaching. This practical section of Romans begins with a great “therefore.” i am to see all that God did on my behalf, therefore i am to live like this. The first of Paul’s exhortations is to be renewed in my mind: “I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.” Paul says, ed since you have been the gracious recipient of God’s great mercies, you are to be a “living (active or thriving, vigorous, strong) sacrifice” (give up or surrender something for the sake of something else) to God. Paul says, ed you are a living sacrifice to God when you do not conform to this world, by not putting your self in the place of being enslaved to sin, a habit or practice or to something that is psychologically or physically habit-forming, to such an extent that its cessation causes you severe trauma, but by being transformed by the renewal of your mind, that’s how you get free from your addiction to sin!

One of the questions i have is “Why am I this way?” What possible reason can there be for my addiction? It has been suggested that addictions are a part of the sin nature.

In reality, it is most likely no-one’s fault per say; there is no agreement on one single reason behind the cause of addiction. The addiction and recovery process is complex, taking in nearly every aspect of my life. Most likely, it is a combination of the theories proposed by pastors, counselors, scientists and those who have lived and worked in recovery.

Nature: According to research, there is a good deal of evidence that genetics play a  part in how i react to my addiction.  This includes how enjoyable it will be.  These findings have helped me recognize family patterns of addiction without blame. For me i must include the spiritual aspect when i am talking about my nature.

i have a “nature” in three distinct ways:

1) By Birth – This is the good and upright nature with which i was created (Genesis 1:26-27; Ecclesiastes 7:29).

2) By Having Sinned And Come Short Of The Glory Of God (Romans 3:23) – This is a “voluntary nature” (Joshua 24:15; 1 Kings 18:21; Matthew 6:24). It is the nature that makes me an enemy of God, children of the devil, and “by nature the children of wrath” (Ephesians 2:3).

3) By Being Born Again (John 3:3) – This is also a “voluntary” nature in which i, by faith, become “a partaker of the divine nature” (2 Peter 1:4). In order for me as a child of God to “maintain” that “divine nature”, i must “voluntarily” and “continuously” be “transformed” and “renewed in knowledge after the image of Him that created Him” (Romans 12:2; Colossians 3:10).

The word “nature” in the Bible, when it refers to my birth, never refers to a “sinful nature”. This is shown in Romans 2:14, which says, “For when the Gentiles, which have not the law, do by nature the things contained in the law…” The word “nature” in this text does refer to the nature i received at birth. But it is evident that the word nature used here is not a “sinful nature”. For how would a sinful nature ever cause me to “do by nature the things contained in the law”? A sinful nature would only cause me to commit sin! (See Romans 1:26-27; Romans 2:14-15; I Corinthians 11:14). The word show that “my nature” teaches me the differences between right and wrong, but never “causes” me to do the wrong.

Nurture:Further research  shows that increased quantity and frequency of addiction use, actually changes the way my brain responds, eventually creating a physiological  need for the addiction. This “re-mapping” of the brain may cause  the sensation known as craving, which contributes to relapse. This is a biological explanation of the addiction habit or compulsion.

Mental Health: In addition to other biological factors, many inherited and acquired mental health disorders often co-exist with addictions. Approximately half of patients with  severe mental disorders struggle with some form of addiction. There are indications that addiction may be a form of self-medication – to ease the lows, lift depression, relieve anxiety, or get through the hard times.

Conclusion: To maintain that i was born with a sin nature, which by the way would help me with my addiction, is to charge God, the Author of my nature, with creating “me as a sinner”. i was not “born short of the glory of God.” i “sin and come short of the glory of God” (Romans 3:23). Jesus took on human nature and “was in all points tempted like i am, yet without sin” (Hebrews 4:15). Therefore, i can’t get away with believing that my human nature is sinful in itself and that’s where my addiction comes from. This means that i have no one to blame my addiction on and that leads me to conclude that the answer as to “why am i this way”… can only be, because i choose to be…

Some are telling me that i have gone to far this time. They may be right, but none the less, i have spent a couple of weeks prior to posting these to see if there may be any truth in my thoughts. At this time i am simply sharing the thought process with the hope of coming to some resolution. my opinion as to whether i am an addict or not may change, but for now i fit the characteristics of being someone who has an addiction.

My recent struggles with unrest,  dissatisfaction, and the nagging sense that something is wrong, even though I can’t find anything wrong may be coming from this addiction.

From my investigation into addictions it would appear that getting an addiction diagnosis can be the turning point for making changes in my life. If i have an addiction then let this be that turning point for making “changes in my life.”

Right now the addiction seems to handle me more than i do it.

i have been aware that i have had a… or i should say a few problems , but, i did not consider them to be addictions, and i certainly didn’t consider myself to be an addict. It seems as though i have had a preconceived idea about what an addict is.

My father was an alcoholic so i have first hand knowledge of what being addicted is all about. i have been to all the different types of meetings including the churches answers for this problem. Nothing worked for my father, including church. In fact church and church people seemed to enable verses hold accountable and walk one on one through a lasting solution.

There is nothing shameful about being an addict once i begin to take positive action. If i can identify with my problems, i may be able to identify with my solution.

“Am I an addict?” This is a question only i can answer but according to these definitions the answer seems clear to me.

Addiction: the state of being enslaved to a habit or practice or to something that is psychologically or physically habit-forming, to such an extent that its cessation causes severe trauma.

Anything (substance, behavior or relationship) that affects my ability to have healthy, intimate relationships with God, myself and others is a life controlling struggle.

John 13:35 says, “By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” i am enslaved to behavior that is affecting my ability to have healthy, intimate relationship with God, myself and others.

Why do i do it? Because it’s comfortable. Because in some ways i love it. Because everyone else is doing it. Because i need it or at least i think i do. Because it makes me feel good. Because i have to have it but, of course really don’t. Because i can handle it. Because i can control it. Because i can’t quit cold turkey, as it’s to hard and depressing. Because Jesus was a friend to sinners. i do it… because…. well, i just do!

I do it because all the king’s horses and all the king’s men kept promising me answers. It took me years to notice the amazing coincidence that my “answers” were in the 99% non- success category 100% of the time.

I do it only to discover over and over that all the so called experts don’t know a thing about curing my addiction, but they know a lot about marketing.

Did I say “treat” my addiction? No, I said “cure”. Ironically, the priceless cure is much cheaper and quicker than the useless treatment.

Physicians often “treat” addiction by throwing pharmaceuticals at it. Peace officers “treat” addiction by removing the substance from the perp’s pocket and locking him up where he can’t get his hands on the stuff. Such people, God bless them, are merely doing their job, and curing addiction is not a part of their pay grade.

Many good-hearted “Christians” “treat” my addiction by “handing me over to the Lord”—in many cases that is nothing more than washing their hands of a loser– or volunteering a weekly hour or two at a ministry where people talk about hurts, habits and hangups. May God richly bless these people, too, but addiction at any level is about much more than a “hangup.”

Call me a slow learner, but it is taking me years to get some of God’s best and richest promises hard-wired into the depths of my soul. Without all that time in what i’ll call the school of hard knocks, i would never have come to believe, that God is truly “close to the brokenhearted.”

The isolation and pain of addiction is depressing, and it doesn’t just go away with time.

My hope in this post is this: No matter what anybody may say, addiction is a spiritual matter. It will be the glory of God, along with those who diligently search out the matter, to solve it.

Addiction: the state of being enslaved to a habit or practice or to something that is psychologically or physically habit-forming, to such an extent that its cessation causes severe trauma.

A friend of mine who deals with addictions and the people controlled by them says that addictions are, “Anything (substance, behavior or relationship) that affects our ability to have healthy, intimate relationships with God, ourselves and each other is a life controlling struggle. Addiction is the continued chronic use of a substance or behavior to avoid our reality in spite of increasing negative consequences.”

Conclusion… i am an addict.

Stale, Stagnant, Vomit

Posted: July 13, 2012 in Am i There Yet?

This post is for today, Friday, the previous one was for Thursday as i forgot to post it.

“I know you inside and out, and find little to my liking. You’re not cold, you’re not hot—far better to be either cold or hot! You’re stale. You’re stagnant. You make me want to vomit.

It is a serious awakening when you wake up in the middle of the night sweating profusely and all you can recall are those words. God says, i make Him want to vomit. i have know that i was not where i should be but i had forgotten those words and what the reality of my indifference really meant. Thank God for verse 19, which brings me a little comfort. i understand that the Father loves me enough to wake me from my sleep and speak some hard words to me.

19“The people I love, I call to account—prod and correct and guide so that they’ll live at their best. Up on your feet, then! About face! Run after God!

i cannot be hungry for God if i am being satisfied with other things. i am constantly nibbling on junk food from the world. i have lost my appetite for God and for life itself. Here’s how i know this is true. Matthew 5:6 He promises that those who hunger and thirst after righteousness shall be filled.

That means that i cannot simply add God to my lives. He’s not a lucky charm to be toted around in my pocket or on a key chain. Matthew says, “SHALL BE FILLED, not maybe, not possibly but SHALL BE!

Proverbs 4:23 – My son, give attention to my words; Incline your ear to my sayings. 21 Do not let them depart from your eyes; Keep them in the midst of your heart; 22 For they are life to those who find them, And health to all their flesh. 23 Keep your heart with all diligence, For out of it spring the issues of life.

God intends that there is an ongoing reality in my life of thirsting for Him. Then being poured out and becoming thirsty again.

Wesley Adams wrote a book titled “The Fire Of God’s Presence”. This is revival from heaven! When men in the streets are afraid to speak godless words for fear that God’s judgment will fall! When sinners, aware of the fire of God’s presence, tremble in the streets crying out for mercy. When, without human advertising, the Holy Spirit sweeps across cities and towns in supernatural power and holds people in the grip of terrifying conviction. When every store becomes a pulpit, every heart an altar, every home a sanctuary, and people walk carefully before God. This is revival!

The presence of God in the midst of people, in the midst of me will always be the catalyst for change. Without the presence within and around me i am left to a stale experience and empty, ineffective institutions and life. If i am to see my life transformed then i must become a desperate person unifying in vision and intercession, which will enable the heavens to open within and around me.

i must become a person whose values are overrun by God. Divine fire must not only be summoned but must fall. i must become a person which has been impacted by the full measure of the kingdom of God. i will then be a person in which supernatural power flows like a river of molten lava, altering everything and everyone in its path.

i must treasure the manifested presence of God in my life because that is my destiny!