My Addiction – Recovery – Part 19

Posted: August 15, 2012 in My Addiction
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“If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other.” Mother Teresa

Peaceful Living – Comes from Acting on Basic Biblical Truths – Structured Into A Program For Daily Life

LIVING AT PEACE WITH MYSELF

“Steps 4 through 9 are the “house cleaning” steps.  They are the steps that help me to start seeing the past more clearly so that i can identify my patterns, uncover my denial, and learn how to take responsibility for my life.  These are the steps that help me to clean up my relationship with God, myself, and with others.  Seeing myself more clearly – in the Light of the Spiritual Truth of a Loving God – is how i change my relationship with my inner process into one that is more Loving.

For me i originally saw the 4th step as a very negative self inventory. In part that was because of the shame that i was carrying.  But there was also an aspect of this negativity that was due to how the 4th step is usually approached.  Those who have used the twelve steps and more specifically Step 4 for a long period of time tended to be black and white, right and wrong in their outlook on the steps.

Step 4 for me is not one that will be accomplished in a day, in two or even a week. This searching, FEARLESS moral inventory is for me going to be a journey in and of itself. i had considered using a 100 questionnaire that i had found and posting my answers to the questions and thereby set the example of being vulnerable. As i laid it out it would have taken me three weeks of posting to do so and quite honestly my answers are not that important.

There are many resources to assist in accomplishing my inventory thus i will combine several to get the process moving. i want to use some tools that deal with this in a positive way. Yes there are many negatives that come from my addiction but if i go at this from the spiritual aspect God does not heap guilt and condemnation on me in those areas. Having gone thru and still daily going through steps 1,2 and 3 God has forgiven my sins as far as the east is from the west.

As of this post i am thinking that step 4 will be an ongoing inventory with no real end, as these steps are actually changing my life and i am recovering and there are new days, new thoughts, new actions and new knowledge to consider, so i am making this a part of my lifestyle versus a one time getter done thing.

i will close with this thought that i heard yesterday, “God will only give me what He knows will flow through me.” – John Maxwell

This is why i am sharing my story, my journey, so that my children, grandchildren, and anyone else who reads these posts can receive from my experiences and possibly be stirred up to find their own answers to life’s issues.  i am finding hope for my life… in the change of my life!

Philippians 2:13 [Not in ed’s own strength] for it is God Who is all the while effectually at work in me [energizing and creating in me the power and desire], both to will and to work for His good pleasure and satisfaction and delight.

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