Counting Down The Days Until… 30

Posted: November 30, 2012 in Counting Down The Days Until...
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Until… 2012 ends and 2013 begins. Unlike past years i would be very excited to have just made it through another year, and almost dreadfully anticipating yet another year. Not this time! i am sharing my personal journal of “Counting Down The Days Until… which is based on the book “The Dream Giver.

Now that… or i should say, “that as” my relationship with God deepens into a genuine trust in His character, i will be ready for His final invitation. “Come higher.” God will… i should say “is asking” me to consecrate myself to Him— and surrender my Dream. This invitation has a great resemblance to Step 3 in my 12 Step process. i’m speaking of the consecration portion not the surrender of the dream. But i am beginning to see how even that is part of my 12 Steps.

my first thought, is the same as Ordinaries, shocked, to say the least. Give back “MY” Dream, after all the hardships i have faced on “MY” journey? i am holding onto my dream tighter than ever. How could anyone including the Dream Giver expect me to give it up?

I’ll never forget a time when we first mover to Florida, God asked me  to do what seemed to be an impossible. One day while working in my study and wondering what we were to do now, i heard “Give Me your children.”  i couldn’t believe my ears. Then I said “no,” and for several weeks i was in turmoil. The struggle was intense and filled with emotion, anger, frustration, guilt. When i was finally able to release my children completely into God’s care, it was painful, but  freeing at the same time. Two weeks later my daughter was in a serious car accident and was pronounced dead at the scene. But God! We are enjoying the more than 10 years she has been living life with us since then. From that day on, my children no longer belong to me, but to God. They are His gift to me, to love and cherish. In this instance God saw fit to give her back to us but i am well aware that there may come that day when His plans will be other than what i will view as favorable. As a parent, you especially understand my intense struggle during these times. The things i love the most, i hold most closely.

There are many times when i felt as though a certain chapter of my life was over. It was as though i was being forced to choose between God and my Dream, fortunately,  i have most often chosen God’s invitation to surrender my Dream, but it is difficult to accept. Surrender isn’t a one-time event.

Every choice in Sanctuary is an invitation. And the truth is, a huge majority of Dreamers choose to keep their Dreams. Dreams are meant to be about more than itself or me. A God-given Dream brings me together with what God wants to do in His world through me.

There are millions of Dreamers that are more selfish than the Dream Giver intended. They get corrupted. They make people “successful” but not fulfilled. They build the reputation of a person but often bring dishonor to the Dream Giver. They do as much harm as good— and sometimes a lot more.

In closing, i have been challenged to unconditionally release more of my Dreams to God, to put them in His hands and walk away. Not a symbolic surrender, but a real one. Surrendering my children and grandchildren were my most difficult thus far but this new challenge is even greater.

  1. oceansforpuddles says:

    ‘Surrender isn’t a one-time event.’ Amen! CS Lewis said we must begin each day with God as though nothing had been done 🙂

  2. I was excited to find this website. I wanted to thank you for your time for this particularly fantastic read!! I definitely liked every part of it and I have you bookmarked to check out new information on your website.

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