Counting Down The Days Until… 19

Posted: December 12, 2012 in Counting Down The Days Until...
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Until… 2012 ends and 2013 begins. Unlike past years i would be very excited to have just made it through another year, and almost dreadfully anticipating yet another year. Not this time! i am sharing my personal journal of “Counting Down The Days Until… which is based on the book “The Dream Giver.

If you read The Dream Giver Book you would not find any reference to today’s post other than after wilderness you come to a road which offers the opportunity to go left or right. Left is Sanctuary and right the Giants.

Where i have been for several days, is in a place that it would appear, i have created. Being the creative person that i am i built a park bench at the crossroads i just described. There are trees which offer plenty of shade and in the background there is the sound of rushing water which is very soothing and restful to me. What am i doing there one might ask? i am waiting. Waiting for what one might ask? i have no idea! i am just waiting.

i shared about the idea of Sanctuary, coming to the water, coming to the light, going higher in response to His invitation. As i sit here and wait, i sense that i have not actually experienced the full reality of Sanctuary. i shared prior that i have on different occasions, gone there but only as far as the Water. In the past 90 days i have gone there again, but only far as the Light. Now as i sit on this bench i am wondering why i have not accepted the invitation to its fullness and drawn closer in the higher elevations of Sanctuary.

Then there is the other turn, the Giants. It’s like one of those bouncing heads that you see in the back window of a car. It just sort of bounces from one direction to the next as the motion of the car changes. One moment i am looking down the road to Sanctuary and then find myself staring down the road toward the Giants.

Looking at Sanctuary i have questions as to what will be required of me? i do not take this lightly. To actually take the entire journey and enter into the fullness of the Dream Givers invitation. i say that it’s where i desire to go but it is a lot easier to talk about it than to actually experience it, especially with consistency.

Looking toward the Giants i really don’t see any or i should say, i didn’t see any until last Monday night. In our weekly gathering someone spoke about their giant being themselves. That’s what i’m seeing as i look toward the land of Giants, myself! i am hesitant of going down that road because of me and as i type this i know why. It’s because i have not finished my journey in Sanctuary.

In Sanctuary, at each stage of it i am restored to God’s intended order for my life. i see, understand and experience more of His love for me, thus i am able to love me and who i am more, which then allows me to love others as myself. If i do not experience Sanctuary to its fullness then i am unable to deal with all the Giants. my age, my current position, my resources, my connections are all in question as just sit on this bench. i am just pondering what could be, in exchange for experiencing.

This is what i know. i do not want to go back to wilderness, in spite of all the gems i have gained by going through it, more than once i can say. So i find that have only three remaining choices. One, sit and do nothing, this nothingness becomes my new comfort zone. Move on to face the Giants with a fifty-fifty chance on not getting my brains beat out of me. Possibly experience burn out, give up on God, hope for an end to remove me from any more of life? No i traveled that road before and as with wilderness i do not desire to go there, not yet anyway. That leaves just one more option. The option to go back to Sanctuary, accept the invitation to join the Dream Giver as given in Matthew 11:28-30 “Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”

  1. pucksblade says:

    It’s like we don’t even know how to allow God to give us that rest, that peace, that we long for. I like the way you said it – “unforced rhythms of grace”. The idea of living freely and lightly is something I’ve been contemplating, especially this week. It’s back to trust, Proverbs 3:5-6. Sunday at Cowboy Up the trainer was showing us what it looks like when a horse and rider have a trust relationship. The truth is, there was no fear or worry on the part of the horse, just alertness to the non-verbal signals the rider would send, telling him what to do. The horse never wondered what to expect next, he just responded to the light touch, the subtle tap, and in that there was beauty. The trust relationship without fear, even when the rider did things the horse would normally fear; the horse was able to shine as he trotted around the arena under the rider’s direction. He did not HAVE to obey, but when he chose to, it was beautiful. It’s that simplicity I’m after. Relationship that flows from an awareness of Him, His leading, His guidance, without fear or worry. I’m wondering if in some ways we never leave sanctuary as He perfects this attentive peace within us.

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