Affected Or Infected?

Posted: May 16, 2013 in Colossians 3
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“i will forever be thankful to God for gifting me with you. You are not just my wife, you are my best friend. i know i can always count on you.”

Just for the record I want to make sure I cover my role as a husband as deeply as I did that of wives. Also for the record, i did not cover wives for wives’ sake, it was for husband’s sake and specifically my own sake. i am getting rid of all my excuses. In some cases that puts me at odds…. not at odds but in an awkward place.

Paul says, “husband, ed, be in the state of being affected, as you live with your wife…” Constantly be affected!

So what does it look like for me as a husband to be affected? I Peter 3:7 describes it this way, In the same way you married men should live considerately (AFFECTED) with [your wives], with an intelligent recognition (AFFECTED) [of the marriage relation], honoring the woman (AFFECTED) as [physically] the weaker, but [realizing that you] are joint heirs (AFFECTED) of the grace (God’s unmerited favor) of life, in order that your prayers may not be hindered and cut off.

i am to live in the state of being affected by considering my wife, by being affected with an intelligent recognition of our marriage relationship, by being affected with the honor she deserves as God’s gift to me, and by being affected in the realization that we are joint heirs of grace. Live in the state of being affected by respecting her as a child of God, created in His image and likeness.

i sometimes live in the state of being infected by her mood (INFECTED), her attitude (INFECTED), her words (INFECTED), her actions (INFECTED), her whatever (INFECTED) infects me greatly and not to our mutual benefit. That statement is to place the blame on her which i am not authorized to do under any circumstances. James 4:1-2 describes the truth about my being infected. “ed, where do you think all these appalling wars and quarrels come from? Do you think they just happen? Think again. They come about because you ed, want your own way, and fight for it deep inside yourself. Ed, you lust for what you don’t have and are willing to kill to get it. You want what isn’t yours and will risk violence to get your hands on it.”

Please don’t read anything into these posts about my marriage. It is great but great is not my best. Some of the statements like appalling wars and quarrels are overstating the condition of my marriage. The remaining portions of the verse are right on, the come about because…

Peter says there is a cost to my being in the state of infection. He says that my prayers may be hindered and cut off. Hindered and cut off? For real? Life is difficult enough without my prayers being hindered and cut off. Sometimes that’s exactly what it feels like. i cannot live in the state of being infected by circumstances, her stuff, her emotions and expect the results to be as though i was living in the state of being affected by living considerately, with an intelligent recognition, and honoring her as a joint heir.

“To say that we will be together until death is a waste. To say that we will be together until we live is what i really want!”

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