Posted: May 20, 2013 in Colossians 3
Tags: , , , , , , ,

Success in marriage is more than finding the right person; it is being the right person.

The command to love far exceeds what was common of marriage in Paul’s day. Had he used another word for “love,” perhaps one that expressed sexuality, then it would have fit well with the Greek and Roman minds. But in the term “agape,” a selfless, serving, giving type of love without thought of return was totally foreign to the marital lives of Greeks and Romans. Wives were often thought of as property. Typically, in the Greek world, wives had no part in the social activities of her husband. She was more of a recluse at home while he went about the things of his day. Husbands and wives did not even eat meals together.

Well… there it is. In the term “agape,” a selfless, serving, giving type of love without thought of return was and may be totally foreign to the marital lives of Greeks and Romans and many today.

Paul’s command was as radical then as it is now! There is to be a work going on in my heart as a believer, as i am affected toward my wife and no longer infected by and away from her. As a husband i must not let society’s standards (or lack of standards) on marriage be my own. i must take the high road presented in the Word.

There is also another issue. Have i the husband expected my wife to meet the deepest needs of my heart? If so, i have placed an  impossible burden on my wife. Then another possibility is my own reluctance to face the truth about myself, preferring to believe that it is my spouse who has a problem and thus creates the problems that infect me.

The divine words for husbands and wives by Paul are the framework for success in marriage. They are not a checklist to use in evaluating the performance of my spouse.

Many times my words and deeds express the idea that a successful and fulfilling marriage just happens by itself. But a growing marriage requires                     effort and perseverance. i am called to work at… no, not at, as though it is separate from me, but in my relationship with Him—and with the person i promised to love.

The grass on the other side of the fence may look greener, but faithfulness to God and commitment to my spouse alone bring peace of mind and satisfaction.


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