Adoption – Fathers…

Posted: September 16, 2013 in Adoption..., Wandering Thoughts

i believe i heard this from John Maxwell, “Good questions get you good information. Great questions change your life!”

i shared that perhaps today would be the “Rest of the Story” concerning my father, and it is, but not any way near what i thought it was going to be. i have been asking what i though, was a good question, “why did God have me share this story about my life,” expecting to get good information. But as it turns out i was asking a great question and it’s life changing! This may be the most vulnerable post i have shared to date, but it is the most fulfilling for me.

The answer to my great question came on Friday while waiting on God. All these years i thought that i felt the way i did about my father because I adjusted my mind, will and emotions to accept the situation for what it was. Joel Hunter says, “It is what it is, now what are you going to do about it.” i did what i thought was the spiritual thing to do, i adjusted, accepted and moved on.

God said, it was time i understood the truth and to become aware of the facts, to actually go back and understand the times of that portion of my life. God began to bring the names of men from my past into memory. There was Johnny, Tom, Dan, Noah, and four Bobs. God shared that these men were sent by Him to form a team of 8 fathers for me. That in addition to my biological father and this man who served as father all provided vital pieces of my life. Philippians 2:4  Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. This describes these men.

It’s time for me to understand in a deeper way that God did not put me on earth to adjust to gaps, but to recognize more about His amazing love for me and the relationship He desires.

As i thought on that i realized that if my father had not stepped in when my biological father stepped out my life would have been completely different. If Johnny had not stepped in when my father stepped out, there would most likely be no relationship with God and no blogging. If Tom had not stepped in and given me guidance on moral issues, who knows where i would be today. And if between the four Bobs they hadn’t stepped in and guided me in worship, the word, commitment, and self sacrifice i certainly would not be where i am, If they hadn’t stepped in?

Until Friday i had no clue. i had not just one father but a God designed team of fathers to direct my life to where it is today. i owe some of these men an apology. When i was in my twenties i was disappointed and expressed it for years in regards to some of these men. i felt like they didn’t do what my family needed them to do, which was to fix them. i felt that they enabled my father to be an alcoholic rather than cure him. i wish i could tell each of these men that i am so sorry, but many are gone. i apologize to them and to God for not understanding the value they played in my life. As it turns out they were not there for my father, they were there for me. There were others there for him but these men… they were my fathers.

i didn’t adjusted, God filled. He made sure that i had men to guide me, protect me and when He said everything was going to be alright… it is!

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Comments
  1. John V says:

    Wow, Thank you for sharing.

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