Archive for September, 2014

Hurt… Again!

Posted: September 26, 2014 in Hurt...
Tags: , , , , , ,

Welcome to me and I AM. i’m your host Dr. Ed Peterson and i’m so glad you have returned for the conclusion of this short but meaningful series.

Several years ago i felt God say to me “ed, it’s time for you to enjoy my people.” It’s true, for years i endured people, i lived a life shaped by the hurt they caused me to feel in the past. Since then i have or so i though i have been looking at relationships without judgments, without pre-qualifiers, as divine appointments from God. To some degree that’s true but on the other hand, i shared yesterday my definition of relationships, defining the terms and guarding myself from further hurts from those that i don’t deem “worthy” of my suffering. Nice going ed!

hurtingIf i were given the choice to do it all over again, i most certainly would. i would experience every one my hurts all over again. Why? Because every one of them added value to my life long before they hurt me. The value added, far out weighs the hurt. The value added has molded and shaped my life, not the hurts. When i think of them, it’s with fondness and not the pain of the hurt. What i would give to have those relationship back again. To laugh together, to share together, to do life together.

These posts are a little out of character for me. i have not referred to a lot of the Word to make my point. The reason is simply this, i read and looked for verses to drop in but nothing clicked, until now. John 3:16 “God so greatly loved and dearly prized the world that He [even] gave up His only begotten (unique) Son, so that whoever believes in (trusts in, clings to, relies on) Him shall not perish (come to destruction, be lost) but have eternal (everlasting) life.

That’s RELATIONSHIP! Read it again… God so greatly loved and dearly prized ed that He [even] gave up His only begotten (unique) Son, so that ed who believes in (trusts in, clings to, relies on) Him shall not perish (come to destruction, be lost) but have eternal (everlasting) life.

So if that’s true what does He do when i don’t trust, cling to or rely on Him? Nothing changes! That’s right, He so loved that He gave, He can’t take back His Son, He can’t erase the cross and resurrection. He so LOVED… was so complete, so final, that it could not be reversed if He, God wanted to.

i know little about that kind of love as it’s greater than any words, feelings, emotions than i am aware of. i mean, i would never give up one of my children for “anyone” else. That is beyond my comprehension.

i do better understand at least the concept of God’s promise that “He will never leave me nor forsake me.” If i had a nickel for every relationship where one or the other person gave up, i’d be a multi-millionaire.

Jesus meets the woman at the well and spends the day with her. Thousands of people on the earth and Jesus selects just 12 disciples. Was He being selective about His relationships? It would seem so initially. But… i think i would be wrong. John 3:17 says, “For God did not send the Son into the world in order to judge (to reject, to condemn, to pass sentence on) the world, but that the world might find salvation and be made safe and sound through Him.” i may spend more time with some of my relationships, but time must not the determining factor for my willingness to love them…deeply, to count them “worthy” of my willingness to suffer for them. If in the few minutes i stand before the grocery clerk i do not engage, it becomes a missed opportunity. Now am i willing to love so much that i’d give my only son for them? i’m sorry to say probably not. i don’t understand that degree of love therefore i can’t give what i don’t posses. On the other hand i do respect the example set for me, by God, to at least engage in the moment and make it count as a divine appointment, set by God. i know someone is thinking, ed your just buying groceries. Yes that’s true, but it’s more than that. It has to be… or life is very mundane and worth far less than i perceive and what God illustrated so vividly.

my relationships and hurts with people aren’t cake, ice cream, party balloons and presents. Relationships… people… come with possibilities of hurt. But ultimately what is a horrible experience can be found to contain a life time of experience that will serve me well. God counts me “worthy” and is willing to suffer hurt by me.

i would be remiss if i didn’t make mention of the flip side of this. i as a human being bring to the table the possibilities of hurting someone as well. i am more aware of that in my relationship than i am the reverse.

 Here’s my closing summary, people who really care won’t hurt you, but if they do, you’ll see it in their eyes, because they’ll be hurting to. And what about those who do not care? God so loved that He gave… not judging, rejecting, condemning, and not passing sentence, for the purpose that they too might find Him.


Welcome to me and I AM. i’m your host Dr. Ed Peterson and i’m so glad you have returned and again entrusted me with a few minutes of your time.

Until now, i thought that i hadn’t, nor would i ever, choose to be hurt. But in a way i have.

hurtingThe hurts i shared yesterday were like nuclear bombs, they came out of nowhere, leaving a trail of destruction surrounding my life… so i thought.

Webster’s defines hurt this way, “to effect adversely,” “one who has been offended or is suffering in mind.” Come on Webster’s you can do better than that! Hurt isn’t a suffering in my mind. The very core of my being, my heart, isn’t just adversely affected, it’s devastated… so i think and feel at the time. my hurts often made me feel like i just wanted to die and these hurts didn’t last for moments, they carried on for days, weeks, months and some for years.

But here’s what i want to share about today. i am going to experience even more hurt “but i can choose who i’ll get hurt by.” i don’t mean that to sound as simple as it does because it’s not. Hurt is never simple and neither is choosing who i will get hurt by. Let me see if i can explain.

In almost every one of my hurts, i made a choice to have those people in my life.

There are two basic types of relationships for me. There are those that are wide, meaning that they are casual, distant, guarded, some long-term, some not so much. With that in mind i believe that every one of them is still a divine appointment for one reason or another but they are… let’s say lite. They may or may not end up in my second category which is deep relationships. Deep relationships are those that i determine are worth suffering hurt for. Now… i never thought of it that way before but when the hurt comes there also comes a decision which requires me to decide, am i going to walk away or am i willing to… resist, to fight, to suffer the hurt for this relationship. i don’t feel like i am explaining this very well because if i truly believe that every relationship, every meeting, every brief moment of interaction with another person is meaningful… then there are or should not be any separation? Non the less at this time there are people who i am just closer to, deeper in relationship with. i can’t seem to find the words to satisfy my thoughts.

Jesus selected twelve disciples yet he died for the entire human race. That’s where i’m struggling, i’m defining my depth of relationships and Jesus made the common man an everybody when it came to giving up His life. Obviously i’m not there but… i am moving in the right direction. One of the hurts i shared yesterday was about coming to work one day and finding all our belongings being loaded into a U-Haul truck, thus leaving both Ann Marie and i jobless and more specifically without any source of income. All done by a friend, a deep relationship of 20 some years. Today that person is in prison and yet each month we are able to send a small gift and i am able to share these posts with him every day. We communicate whenever we desire to on any subject that comes to mind. Regardless of what was done or i felt was done we are fighting for relationship. Will it ever be what it was? Only time and both our hearts will tell. Now, i don’t use that example as being the worst hurt i’ve experienced. No for me the worst hurt was the one happening at the moment.

I’m not sure that a deep relationship can exist without the careful consideration that there is potential for a less than perfect outcome, without the risk of hurt. In fact the same may be true for any relationship, any interaction, with any person, regardless of the amount of time or my definitions. i mean how long does it take to be hurt?

i am being as honest and vulnerable as i can here… and yes, i’m still struggling. i started to share this material as though i knew something about it, as though i had found an answer as though i could share some insights to help others with their hurts and now that feels so illusive.

Please… i’m asking for you to come back tomorrow as i bring this to a conclusion and hopefully share something that will be of value, something that will help you………. no i can’t go there, just come and read about what i get out of tomorrow’s post. i can’t promise you anything other than, i’ll share honestly, openly and God will do the rest.




Welcome to me and I AM. i’m your host Dr. Ed Peterson and i’m so glad you have entrusted me with a few minutes of your time.

hurtsEver experience the hurt illustrated in this picture? Have you ever been hurt to this degree? i have!

During my childhood i would hurt when my father would come home drunk and there would be a blow up between him and my mother in the middle of the night. i wish this would stop. i don’t want it any more!

i recalled the hurt of finding my mother lying on the bathroom floor with blood around her after cutting her wrists in a failed suicide attempt. i hurt because i felt that she wanted to leave me, that she didn’t love me anymore. What did i do?  i don’t want it any more!

i remember when my brothers broke into my house and robbed us after a failed attempt to help them get back on their feet. We’re family.  i don’t want it any more!

i often think of the person who decided to never speak to us again after 20 years of friendship because when their husband asked for a divorce we remained in contact with him. i miss you, please, let’s talk. i don’t want it any more!

i remember the pain of coming to work one day and all our belongings were being loaded into a U-Haul, because we had been fired from a job with a friend of over 20 years. i trusted you. i don’t want it any more!

It’s like it was yesterday that i can hear the words of our co-pastor, one of my only best friends attempt to destroy us as we had decided to leave the church. As we sat there he told us that he had to do what he was doing because we were a cancer to him and that within the four walls of his church, he held the scepter, so he had to destroy us. You were like a brother. i don’t want it any more!

i remember the hurt when my one and only true love, my wife, my best friend now of 42 years but then after just two years of marriage telling me in a note that she never really loved me and was going back home. i thought we were soul mates.  i don’t want it any more!Tears

Then there was hearing one of my children tell me that they hated me and just as clear, i hear the words of them letting me know that in one way or another that i disappointed them. But i tried so hard. i don’t want it any more!

I have repeated the words of another pastor over and over, even to him how he told me i was to old to fill a position that was open in the church and that was after sharing with him that i was sent to the church for him. I’m too old? Now what? i don’t want it any more!

Then there was the time when we returned from a trip to St Maartin in which we had taken some families, some friends with us and had pretty much covered the cost but they shared with us that we did so for the purpose of counseling them and not out of friendship. That’s not true. i don’t want it any more!

And there was the pastor who promised both Ann Marie and i that there would be a position with him for the rest of our lives, that we were called to serve together, which we did for years with no or little salary but then were discarded with what seemed to be not one ounce of thought, respect or care. You promised. i don’t want it any more!

And let’s not forget God… yes, i have felt hurt by God which is another whole story for another time. Not You too. i don’t want it any more!

You’re thinking, my goodness ed, that’s a lot of hurts! Yes, it sure is and these are just a few. But these hurts are not the real subject of this two or three part series. i just wanted readers to know that i have experience with being hurt and feeling like “i don’t want it any more.”. Tomorrow we’ll look deeper into what to do when hurt becomes a reality, when it smacks you in the face, when it seems to be unbearable, when you think you just want to die

Here’s what i think i know, i am going to get hurt in life… but, believe it or not… i can choose who i’ll get hurt by. Secondly the key is to not get stuck in the emotions of past hurts but to be able to grieve and then to move on, coming away with a life lesson or two.



hello I’m Dr. ed Peterson the host of the me and I Am post and podcast. Thank you for joining me on my journey of INTENTIONAL living. This is the conclusion of a three post series i began on Monday but for me this is the most important element as it contains the lessons learned thus giving me new tools for applying God’s word to all situations in my life. For whatever reason this series has no podcast as every time i recorded it and went to post it, it would erase. yet every night when I would do a test it would work fine. One of those things that makes you go hummmmmmm????

It has been my experience that soon after i have decided to surrender to a more God filled life and i have set my intentions on Him that i soon afterward feel as though my favor with God and man has evaporated! My great God experiences seem to dry up. In those times i’m not even able to consider spiritual things. This was one of those times and I can’t give you any specific reason for why it occurred.

In the past i have considered these type of moments as a great loss with regards to my relationship with God. In this situation i am thinking differently. i am recalling how blessed i have been in my relationship with Him and even though it may seem like or feel like it has ceased to exist, I know that it has not! Knowing that allows me to look at this whole situation as not a great loss but a great benefit.

Galatians 5 talks about this matter. “But I say, walk and live [habitually] in the [Holy] Spirit [responsive to and controlled and guided by the Spirit]; then you will certainly not gratify the cravings and desires of the flesh (of human nature without God).”

i heard the voice of the spirit… and the voice of my flesh… and made a choice of my own free will… gratify the cravings and desires… of my human nature without God. So you might be thinking that i’m making this to spiritual or that i’m being overly dramatic… perhaps just so i have something to post about? Since these posts and podcasts are about my personal life i assure you there is no lack of material.

So what did happen? The simple  answer… there was a battle. Two opposing thoughts, two opposing voices. Galatians 5:17 says, “ed’s desires of the flesh are opposed to the [Holy] Spirit, and the [desires of the] Spirit are opposed to ed’s flesh (godless human nature); for these are antagonistic to each other [continually withstanding and in conflict with each other], so that ed is not free but is prevented from doing what ed desires to do.”

my inner strength was not enough to defeat my outer collapse because as i read down further in Galatians 5 it explains that “the fruit of the [Holy] Spirit [the work which His presence within accomplishes] is love, joy (gladness), peace, patience (an even temper, forbearance), kindness, goodness (benevolence), faithfulness, Gentleness (meekness, humility), self-control (self-restraint). Against such things there is no law [that can bring a charge].”

Someone is saying that’s all well and good ed but you still haven’t explained what happened! Okay… It has been my experience that soon after i have decided to surrender to a more God filled life and i have set my intentions on Him that i soon afterward feel as though my favor with God and man has disappeared! Great God experiences seem to dry up. In those moments i’m not even able to talk about spiritual things. Heaven on earth is the farthest things from my mind which leaves me with little or no hope.

So now what? First i had to confess my actions of wrong doing and ask forgiveness of God. Through posting this i’m asking Ann Marie to also forgive me. Finally i’m asking each listener and reader for forgiveness as what i did was not according to the word. Is that necessary one may ask? Absolutely!  The word says, “to whom much is given much is expected.” i have been given this privilege and platform to share life with others. With that comes this responsibility, “ed is not to seek his (self) own good and advantage and profit , but [rather] each one of the other [let him seek the welfare of his neighbor].” 

If ed lives by the [Holy] Spirit, let ed also walk by the Spirit. [If by the Holy Spirit ed has his life in God, let ed go forward walking in line, ed’s conduct controlled by the Spirit.]

It’s now almost a week later and guess what? my want is back, my “in the moment” satisfaction is nowhere to be found. Self satisfaction, surrendering to self wants is fleeting. The struggle is now stronger because it had previous success. But… i can assure you that as of this moment the battle has already been won, the victory is mine and the Glory is God’s.

And those who belong to Christ Jesus (the Messiah) have crucified the flesh (the godless human nature) with its passions and appetites and desires.

Hello i’m Dr. Ed Peterson, the host of the me and I Am post and podcast. i’m glad you decided to join me today as i share with you about my journey of intentional living. Again before i start i must apologize that there is no podcast. After attempting to record 3 times… well, i gave up. Not sure what the issue is because when i tested it last night everything worked fine. You can come to your own conclusion… i’ll just leave it that, i’m not supposed to podcast it for whatever reason.

FranticIt was around 9 P.M., i was in for the night or so i thought. i had been to the store earlier and had rejected the idea of buying any of that “stuff”. Now, i know none of you have ever experienced this but i did. As i sat in my comfy recliner, watching mindless television, it hit me. “i…  want something,” meaning of course… a snack, something sweet, which i was now regretting having not purchased anything earlier. i remember thinking on the question of what i wanted as though it was worthy of great consideration.

The next thing i know i’m at the store, grabbing a cart and making my way down the isles. In the bakery section i loaded my cart with 4 pieces of chocolate cake which by the way had plenty of chocolate frosting covering them. i would have selected more but there was no carrot cake with vanilla crème frosting to be found. After further, careful consideration of countless other possibilities i decide on an almond coffee cake… for the next mornings breakfast of course, but knowing that i might have a slice tonight should my other items not fulfill my want. Continuing down the isles i looked left and right examining the shelves from top to bottom as though i was listening intently for something to call out my name. When i hit the ice cream freezers the choices were endless… which is why i ended up with three, Chocolate Fudge Brownie, Recesses Peanut Butter with Chocolate Chunks, and Vanilla Toffee Crunch. After a stroll down a few more isles again listening intently, i made my way to the check-out counter where the two clerks immediately began discussing their favorite deserts with me. Somewhere in their exuberant sharing the cashier says, “so your having a dessert fest?” and now there’s a  name to go with what i was doing.

Returning home i carefully laid out the selections buffet style making sure that each could be seen easily, but… there was no need to choose… the intention was clear… eat them all! And within an hour most everything was gone and within 24 hours it was all gone.

Now one might ask, why? What came over me? Why the extreme, especially for someone who has had relatively little in the way of sweets for over a year? A single five letter word… FLESH/self as in my mind, my will and my emotions. As clear as i spoke “i want” a still small voice inside me began resisting. At every isle the voice asked me, “are you sure you want to do this, what are you doing, what’s going on?” But not once, not for a second did i pause to consider the voice. i might as well of said, “shut up and leave me alone!”

i’m not sharing this because i’m proud of it, quite the opposite. Now please listen or read very carefully. i don’t regret the things i’ve done, i just regret the things i didn’t do when i had the chance. What i didn’t do when i had the chance was listen to the Spirit inside me, i didn’t do the wise thing for my health and i didn’t consider Ann Marie when i had the chance.  i brought her on this rampage with me, without any regard for her. She has been struggling to get back on track with her diet and i added to the struggle. 1 Corinthians 10:23 the verse i shared in the opening has a following verse which says, “Let no one then seek his own good and advantage and profit, but [rather] each one of the other [let him seek the welfare of his neighbor].” Now, eating all that was in no way for my own good, advantage or profit. my point here is that i did not seek the welfare of my neighbor, more specifically the welfare of my best friend, my wife. What example did i set for her? my misplaced encouragement… and let’s just leave it at that… misplaced.

So there you have it, “the story.” What you don’t have are the lessons learned which are the most important elements of these posts. As the verse above says, “let him/ed seek the welfare of his neighbor” i always want to be respectful of readers and listeners time and this is running longer than i anticipated. i am unable to cut it short as the lessons are what i will take with me as i move forward from this… and face new… challenges in living my life INTENTIONALLY for God.

Thank you for joining me on me and I Am and i look forward to you joining me in just one more wake up for the conclusion of this series on Permissible And/Or Profitable.


Hello I’m Dr. Ed Peterson the host of the meandIAM posts and podcasts. Todays title is Permissible… And/or Profitable…

After recording today’s podcast 5 times and each time while saving it, it disappeared, i have to assume that it just wasn’t meant to be. So i apologize for any inconvenience but here it is in print.

1 Corinthians 10:23 (AMP) says that, “All things are legitimate [permissible—and we are free to do anything we please], but not all things are helpful (expedient, profitable, and wholesome). All things are legitimate, but not all things are constructive [to character] and edifying [to spiritual life].”

GroceryQuestion? What do 4 slices of chocolate frosted cake, 3 pints of ice cream, and an almond coffee cake have in common? Yes, they all have calories. They are all sweets. No they are not all desserts all though i suppose the coffee cake could be a dessert depending on when you eat it? The answer is… flesh/self. It was actually a trick question, that is unless you had spent the last year growing INTENTIONALLY in relationship with God, and… had been on some type of fast the entire time which included the removal of sweets from your lifestyle.

It was around 9 P.M., i was in for the night or so i thought. i had been to the store earlier and had rejected the idea of buying any of that “stuff”. Now, i know none of you have ever experienced this but i did. As i sat in my comfy recliner, watching mindless television, it hit me. “i…  want something,” meaning of course… a snack, something sweet, which i was now regretting having not purchased anything earlier. i remember thinking on the question of what i wanted as though it was worthy of great consideration.

Want to hear more? At all curious what i did with my want? And how does 1 Corinthians 10:23 fit into this? You’ll have to join me in just two more wake-ups as my grandchildren would say when they are anticipating a visit from me. Two more wake ups and i’ll share the lessons learned while uncovering the questionable choices i made and the actions that resulted. So until two more wake ups be blessed and live life INTENTIONALLY!



Confidence and Self Confidence are hot topics these days. All around me i’m told to think confidently, to be self-assured, to live boldly. Society says, be self-confident, but what does the Word have to say about confidence and self-confidence.

The word confidence (or very similar words) is referenced 50 to 60 times in the Bible depending on the translation you’re reading.  These references refer to my trust in people, circumstances, and God.

The Word is very clear about this word confidence and adding the word self in front of it. Here’s what Philippians 3:3 says, “Have no confidence in the flesh.” Flesh as in self! If that’s not clear enough then here’s Proverbs 14:16 “A righteous man departs from evil, but a fool rages in his (self) confidence.” Neither of these verses suggest that i’m not to have confidence, but they do make it clear, that confidence in myself is misplaced.

Based on the that premise, what should confidence in my life look like? Psalm 118:8 says, “It is better to trust and take refuge (have confidence) in the Lord than to put confidence in man.” i’ve spent many years and struggled hard to get rid of anything prefaced with self. This needs a little more explanation. i have self-esteem but it’s not based on my looks, my position, the clothes wear or the car i drive. In fact it’s not based on anything i can see, hear, taste, touch or smell. which is how the world packages it.

my self-esteem is based on being God’s child, born again of the incorruptible seed. The Lion of Judah represents the triumphant Jesus. King David and Jesus came from the tribe of Judah. Through that lineage i am a Lion of Judah, triumphant and confident in my heritage.

Mirror Confidencemy confidence is in a personal, intimate relationship with God. He is my High Priest, and through His intercession, i can “approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that i may receive mercy and find grace to help me in my time of need” (Hebrews 4:16).

Proverbs 3:26 for me is a guarantee. “For the Lord shall be ed’s confidence, firm and strong, and shall keep ed’s foot from being caught [in a trap or some hidden danger]. Putting my confidence in His revealed Word, changes everything. my life takes on a new stability, focus, and identity. It’s there that i realize, i am smart enough “because i have the mind of Christ, because i have established my thoughts in Him, therefore every step i take is ordered by Him.” Now there are no good days or bad days, no good circumstances or bad circumstances, just days and circumstances filled with grace.

So ed, does not, therefore, fling away his fearless confidence, for it carries a great and glorious compensation of reward. For ed has need of steadfast patience and endurance, so that ed may perform and fully accomplish the will of God, and thus receive and carry away [and enjoy to the full] what is promised. Hebrews 10:35-36

This is my confidence, “i am convinced and sure of this very thing, that He Who began a good work in me will continue until the day of Jesus Christ [right up to the time of His return], developing [that good work] and perfecting and bringing it to full completion in me.” Philippians 1:6

Practical application is a required element for good information to become life changing versus just good information.

So in order to build up my “FEARLESS CONFIDENCE” i am intentionally committing to not say anything about myself or anyone else that God himself hasn’t or wouldn’t say about me or others.

Ephesians 4:29, ed, let no foul or polluting language, nor evil word nor unwholesome or worthless talk [ever] come out of your mouth, but only such [speech] as is good and beneficial to the spiritual progress of others, as is fitting to the need and the occasion, that it may be a blessing and give grace (God’s favor) to those who hear it.

Words and Actions, Words and Actions, ed overcomes (conquers) circumstances, trials, by means of the Blood of the Lamb (confidence) and by the utterance (words) of his testimony, for ed did not love and cling to life (self, flesh) even when faced with death [holding his life cheap till he had to die for his witnessing]. (Revelation 12:11) paraphrased.


Hello i’m Dr. Ed Peterson host of the me and I Am post and podcast. i don’t pretend to have all the answers and in fact my intention or purpose for these posts is not to offer any answers, but simply that the words I share would stir you up to find your own answers. Thank you for joining me on my journey of INTENTIONAL living.


Nobody else gets a word in, i’m right “Period”, i can’t just hang out with anybody, i can deliver the moon on a stick, People don’t “get me”.

One might be thinking, what’s wrong with any one of those or even all of them for that fact. Well, these might be signs of being overly self-confident. But in a day and age where my confidence is challenged constantly through the media that being younger, thinner, faster, or wearing the current trend, having the latest electronic device makes me better than the next guy, is it really possible to have too much confidence?

ConfidenceSelf-confidence is having confidence in oneself. Arrogance, is having unmerited confidence—believing something or someone is capable or correct when they are not.

Overconfidence or presumptuousness is excessive belief in someone (or something) succeeding, without any regard for failure.

Wikipedia says, The socio-psychological concept of self-confidence relates to self-assurance in one’s personal judgment, ability, power, etc.

It says that, confidence is when i “Promise myself, no matter how difficult the problem life throws at me, that i will try as hard as i can to help myself. i am aware that sometimes my efforts to help myself may not result in success, because being properly rewarded is not in my control.

All through life my self-confidence is affected by age, race, ethnicity, puberty, health, body height, body weight, body image, involvement in physical activities, gender, and awakening or discovery of sexuality. Self-confidence can vary and be observed in a variety of dimensions. Elements of my social and academic life affect my self-confidence. Also my self-confidence can vary in different environments, such as at home, school, work or even church.

Want to hear more? Join me on Friday for the me and I Am post or podcast as i look at this topic of Confidence, lack of Confidence and self-confidence with more detail. You can subscribe to these post by visiting, then you’ll receive the post and podcast as soon as it’s available. There are a number of previous posts, in a variety of categories that are there for you to consider as well. You’ll be able to listen at your leisure and I would encourage you to take notes to do further research for better understanding. i look forward to our next visit together. Thank you for sharing this time with me. Now go and live life Intentionally!



ConfidentEver find yourself battling thoughts like…

I’m not good enough? I’m not thin enough? I’m not smart enough? I’m not qualified? I’m not tall enough? I’m not… I’m not… I’m not… and the list can go on?

Been there, done that and still doing it! Why? Is it possible that i lack confidence because i don’t believe God will show up?

What do i really believe about Hebrews 13:6 So we take comfort and are encouraged and confidently and boldly say, The Lord is my Helper; i will not be seized with alarm [i will not fear or dread or be terrified]. What can man do to me?

Then what about the flip-side of those words? If i do not take comfort and i am not encouraged and i don’t confidently and boldly say, The Lord is my Helper; Then what? i will be seized with alarm [i will fear or dread or be terrified]. And in that state the question “What can man do to me” takes on a whole new meaning.

If you want to hear more join me on Friday for the meandiam post or podcast as i look at this topic of Confidence or lack of Confidence. You can subscribe to these post by visiting then you’ll receive the post and podcast as soon as it’s available. Also you can go back and listen over and over for better understanding.




i recently saw a program  where the police officer was directing a suspect to put down the rifle he had in his left hand. The suspect was compliant but the officer was so focused on the rifle that he didn’t see the suspect reach with his right hand for the handgun that was hidden in the small of his back.

i can easily miss some important things because of what i’ll call “tunnel vision.” I’m referring to relationships for todays information. Like the police man and the rifle i let current experiences narrow my vision. They said they loved me, but then… They told me constantly they cared, but when i needed them, where were they?

A wide receiver on a football team must have tunnel vision. He doesn’t have the luxury of thinking about crowd noise as the football spirals toward him. The batter as he concentrates on the baseball hurling toward the plate must use tunnel vision.

In 1994, Tom Amberly set a world record by making 2,750 free throws in a row. Here’s what’s amazing about this record:

  • He was not a professional basketball player, he was a foot doctor.
  • He was 71 at the time.
  • He did not miss number 2,751. The building manager shut off the lights and closed the gym.
  • According to Amberly, “The only thing limiting you is yourself….we are more limited by our beliefs than our ability.”

Tunnel vision in the right situation can be good, but in the wrong situation… it’s a disaster and here’s why… because what i focus on, gets bigger in my life. A man is so focused on getting ahead in his career that he neglects his family. A mother is devoted to her children at the expense of her relationship with her husband. A teenager emphasizes sports and lets the grades slip.

i get so busy counting the times where love wasn’t what it could or should have been that i lose the moments where it was exactly what i needed. i get so distracted remembering the times someone said they cared and it felt like they left me out to dry. All the while i forget to be grateful for the times they spent hours or days caring for me. i become so focused on me that there’s no time to miss the ones that have shared their lives with me, with integrity and sincerity, if only for a moment.

Romans 12:18 (AMP) If possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.

This is not a command to be a doormat, but it does place a certain amount of responsibility for my relationships directly on me.

There is nothing more important than relationships and they are fleeting. There’s nothing wrong with counting stars but get a good look at the moon as well. People will disappoint me but people will also surprise me. Both situations are a part of life.

Why do I have to be the one to make the calls, send the cards or text a word of encouragement… or apologize… because God holds those stars and the moon in place. Each twinkle of a star or glimmer from the moon reminds me that there are those who love me, care for me and miss me. So, let’s make a call to someone who didn’t measure up as a star but glimmers as a ray of light from the moon.