Hurt… Is There A Choice?

Posted: September 25, 2014 in Hurt...
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Welcome to me and I AM. i’m your host Dr. Ed Peterson and i’m so glad you have returned and again entrusted me with a few minutes of your time.

Until now, i thought that i hadn’t, nor would i ever, choose to be hurt. But in a way i have.

hurtingThe hurts i shared yesterday were like nuclear bombs, they came out of nowhere, leaving a trail of destruction surrounding my life… so i thought.

Webster’s defines hurt this way, “to effect adversely,” “one who has been offended or is suffering in mind.” Come on Webster’s you can do better than that! Hurt isn’t a suffering in my mind. The very core of my being, my heart, isn’t just adversely affected, it’s devastated… so i think and feel at the time. my hurts often made me feel like i just wanted to die and these hurts didn’t last for moments, they carried on for days, weeks, months and some for years.

But here’s what i want to share about today. i am going to experience even more hurt “but i can choose who i’ll get hurt by.” i don’t mean that to sound as simple as it does because it’s not. Hurt is never simple and neither is choosing who i will get hurt by. Let me see if i can explain.

In almost every one of my hurts, i made a choice to have those people in my life.

There are two basic types of relationships for me. There are those that are wide, meaning that they are casual, distant, guarded, some long-term, some not so much. With that in mind i believe that every one of them is still a divine appointment for one reason or another but they are… let’s say lite. They may or may not end up in my second category which is deep relationships. Deep relationships are those that i determine are worth suffering hurt for. Now… i never thought of it that way before but when the hurt comes there also comes a decision which requires me to decide, am i going to walk away or am i willing to… resist, to fight, to suffer the hurt for this relationship. i don’t feel like i am explaining this very well because if i truly believe that every relationship, every meeting, every brief moment of interaction with another person is meaningful… then there are or should not be any separation? Non the less at this time there are people who i am just closer to, deeper in relationship with. i can’t seem to find the words to satisfy my thoughts.

Jesus selected twelve disciples yet he died for the entire human race. That’s where i’m struggling, i’m defining my depth of relationships and Jesus made the common man an everybody when it came to giving up His life. Obviously i’m not there but… i am moving in the right direction. One of the hurts i shared yesterday was about coming to work one day and finding all our belongings being loaded into a U-Haul truck, thus leaving both Ann Marie and i jobless and more specifically without any source of income. All done by a friend, a deep relationship of 20 some years. Today that person is in prison and yet each month we are able to send a small gift and i am able to share these posts with him every day. We communicate whenever we desire to on any subject that comes to mind. Regardless of what was done or i felt was done we are fighting for relationship. Will it ever be what it was? Only time and both our hearts will tell. Now, i don’t use that example as being the worst hurt i’ve experienced. No for me the worst hurt was the one happening at the moment.

I’m not sure that a deep relationship can exist without the careful consideration that there is potential for a less than perfect outcome, without the risk of hurt. In fact the same may be true for any relationship, any interaction, with any person, regardless of the amount of time or my definitions. i mean how long does it take to be hurt?

i am being as honest and vulnerable as i can here… and yes, i’m still struggling. i started to share this material as though i knew something about it, as though i had found an answer as though i could share some insights to help others with their hurts and now that feels so illusive.

Please… i’m asking for you to come back tomorrow as i bring this to a conclusion and hopefully share something that will be of value, something that will help you………. no i can’t go there, just come and read about what i get out of tomorrow’s post. i can’t promise you anything other than, i’ll share honestly, openly and God will do the rest.




  1. God's Family of 5 says:

    After i read your post yesterday it left me wanting more. On one hand, I felt you gave me more insight as to who you are thru your transparency. Not a side that I think I see as often as I would like. No offense, but most of the time you seem to make things look effortless or nothing bothers you. However on the other hand, my heart hurt for you & for me. There were some hurts that although werent the same, I could relate. I wanted to come over and give you a big hug. Others I dont think anyone should have to endure.

    Funny you are posting on this because I just started the Bait of Satan and I am only on the third chapter and have struggled. Going thru the hurts and offenses that I have gone thru. Realizing I have been walking thru a spirit of offense without realizing it. Forgiving yet not truly forgiving. If that makes sense.

    In regards to your post today, the thing that impacted me the most in the book was when he states… If we stay in self protective mode we only can love conditionally. But when we move to allow our care into God’s hands we become free to love unconditionally. But when loving unconditionally we give people the “right” to hurt, disappoint, or offend us. I really had to chew on that. I felt he was saying we had to be a doormat but that wasnt it at all.

    He goes on to say that we need to realize that when we sow the love of God, we will reap the love of God. However we may not always harvest from the field that we have sowed it in. However if we develop the faith in this spiritual law of sowing and reaping, therefore it is no longer a failure when we love someone and it isn’t returned from the person we’re giving it to.

    Hopefully i am making sense. I have spent two weeks so far digging into this subject. Looking for healing, clarity freedom but most of all change. Its been slow (i feel like a wrestling match with God) but God has definitely been revealing much.

    I say all this to say, thanks for sharing. It truly means something to me in what you are sharing!


    Theresa 😉


  2. Ann Marie Peterson says:

    Great series I am sure it has not been an easy process.

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