No Way… Not Me!

Posted: October 1, 2014 in No Way! Yes Way!
Tags: , , , , , ,


Welcome to me and I AM. i’m your host for today and i’m glad you have decided to join me as i share about one of the worst experiences i have ever gone through. Sure… now that it’s over i have found value in it but… well you’ll see as you read on.

Recently i started a new job. First it’s in a call center and i’m not a phone person. Second it’s for a health company and i’m the person who changes the conversation when everyone is discussing their aches, pains and irregularities. Thirdly i haven’t had to punch a time clock in a nine to five position for… let’s just say in years. So, out of my comfort zone, absolutely!. None the less it’s the job i selected and it’s not a bad job especially on Friday when i got my first pay-check… when i expected to get it. The past eight years were always a guessing game as to when and even if i would get paid.

stressedWe started doing role-playing with making calls after a week of classroom cramming regarding medical terms as well as policies and procedures. Learning from a classroom has never been my strong point so i was a little apprehensive. So… i kept my mouth shut and sat low in my seat so that i wouldn’t be seen or called on. It worked! i escaped that day but only to face the same thing the next day.

i felt like i could do this but none the less i wanted no part of role-playing. For anyone who knows me this is so out of character for me. i have done live television, live radio, lead worship on a stage in front of thousands without a moment of hesitation. i’ve created businesses that i knew nothing about, again never giving thought to whether i knew what i was doing or if i could dt.

The next day came and went and i once again escaped my dreaded fate of having to role play. There was a struggle and it was gaining momentum. One side asking me “why, why are you so uneasy about this, you can do this.” The other side telling me “your going to make mistakes, you may not be able to do this job.” The next morning while driving to work i decided that this was going to end, that i was going to prove to myself that i could do it and like always i would do it well. i remember thinking, “i’ll show everyone, i can do this,” as though anyone other than myself was saying i couldn’t.

Class begins, “anyone want to volunteer to go first today?” I thought, “okay God i never doubted you heard me.” It’s time to get this done. BUT… as much as i wanted, my hand just would not go up. i sat there frozen. “ed raise your hand.” “i’m trying to.” “ed your going to look foolish, don’t do this.”  The battle still growing. No one jumped at the opportunity, “Who wants to do this?” my hand, is still not able to go up. In all the commotion , i found the strength to stand up and walked back to where the computer awaited me. Several of my co-workers cheered me on as i made my way back, which by the way, they had not done this either but were more than willing for me to do it.

Sitting at the computer i began doing my set up. i actually surprised myself  as i recalled the info from the weeks cramming sessions. “Are you ready” came from the front of the class? “Not yet.” She told me to take my time and let her know when i was. As i was just about to announce that i was ready i looked up at the two gigantic screens at the front of the class. i noticed that the cursor on the screen was sort of flickering or vibrating. As i brought my eyes back down to the computer in front of me it was then that i saw it. The cursor was moving because my hand was shaking. Yes the cursor was responding to my shaking hand. Startled, i immediately let go of the mouse and kind of shook my hand and arm trying to end the unwilling movement. With that i felt my heart pounding, fast and hard. i actually though i could hear it and maybe i did because the trainer next to me asked if i was okay. The only voice i was hearing now was the one that tried to tell me that i shouldn’t have done this, that i had chosen the wrong job and that i was going to look like a fool.

I’m so sorry, i thought i could do this in one post but it’s already longer than i like them to be so i’ll have to finish tomorrow. Please come back and hear the results of my……… terrifying experience and what value i have since found from it. By the way it’s okay if you got a laugh from my pain.


  1. God's Family of 5 says:

    Oh My Gosh, I cannot believe you left me hanging. LOL!! Like me sitting on the edge of my seat is your main concern. 🙂

    I’m not sure why but this post was really speaking to me. Waiting for the conclusion! Not patiently I might add. LOL!


    Theresa 😉


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