Yes Way… Yes me!

Posted: October 2, 2014 in No Way! Yes Way!
Tags: , , , , , , , ,


i announced that i was ready by saying, “ring, ring, ring” and in less than three minutes my call was over. i breathed a partial sigh of relief, accepted the good response from the class and trainers despite the fact that it wasn’t perfect. UGHHH! Seems anti-climatic right? Not for me. From the start this story has an element of funniness, but i sensed that it was more serious. As long as there is a me, there is a reason to laugh!

Despite ending the call it took about forty-five minutes before my hand stopped shaking and two hours before my heart stopped pounding. Oh… my… goodness… that was a first! Brief assessment. For my entire life i have gone into every situation KNOWING that i could add value immediately to whatever it was. In this situation, i have no value to add. i know nothing about the medical field nor working in a call center. In my class, 18 out of the 28 have a minimum of 5 years experience and more than half of those, have 10 years or more experience. i am not going to stand out! At least not as one of the best. i did decide from day one that i would wear a dress shirt and tie every day.

stressSo why? Why such… angst? Stress, anxiety. self-doubt, fear? Nope! i didn’t want to look foolish in front of this room filled with strangers and trainers. How does a guy who’s favorite verse is Philippians 2:13 “[Not in ed’s own strength] for it is God Who is all the while effectually at work in ed [energizing and creating in ed the power and desire], both to will and to work for His good pleasure and satisfaction and delight” get into this mess? Simple, eyes off God, eyes on self. Mind set on the gifts and not the giver of the gifts.

Being over-confident in myself, and not liking the idea of having it challenged made this all about me, all about now. Webster’s uses different wording, “pride is a feeling or deep pleasure or satisfaction derived from one’s own achievements, the achievements of those with whom one is closely associated, or from qualities or possessions that are widely admired.”

In James 4:6 and 1 Peter 5:5: it says, “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” my pride put me in the unbearable position of having to choose between “ed, you can do this because you can do all things through Me” and ed, you’re going to look foolish, your too old, you’re not smart enough.” Paul writes, in Romans 12:3, “I say to everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think” i was choosing a well dressed lie over the truth.

Pride shows up in many ways. i think i deserve more money. i think i deserve more respect, i’ve paid my dues. i can’t say, “i used to be proud, those days are over!” That in itself would be pride. In the book Humility , C. J. Mahaney describes himself as “a proud man pursuing humility by the grace of God.” As a disciple of Christ, i venture in the direction of humility, by the grace of God. The question is not, “Have i arrived?” but rather, “Am i even trying?”

Pride is like a mother who is pregnant. It eventually give birth. In pride, Satan rebelled against God because he desired to be God. In pride, Adam and Eve ate the forbidden fruit because they wanted to be like God. In pride, i reject God’s wisdom, will, and Word because i think i know better. All sin comes out of pride—and all virtue, all holiness, and all glory to God are birthed out of humility. Humility considers every decision by asking, “Who gets the glory?”

my war against pride is not being fought by focusing on my humility—but rather, my relationship with God. Humility is not the absence of pride. Humility is the presence God.

[Jesus] did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. Therefore God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father. Philippians 2:6–11

i almost forgot, as for adding value, well God pointed out my added value and made it clear that it’s not that no one else was adding this value as well. my added value is prayer… prayer over every phone call i make to every doctor, whom will be explaining these results to a person who is receiving health test results. Go figure… eight years of being in a prayer center. It’s never going to be noticed like being the fastest or best but that’s okay. i have no clue as to if there will be any results but, that’s okay. Seriously! i am just now understanding why God began teaching me over nine months ago about being willing to be a “simple” creation of God. No fame, no glory, no fan fare, no pats on the back, no recognition, nothing but “being still and knowing, that He is God.”



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