Average… Called Out!

Posted: November 1, 2014 in Average..., Podcasts

Please click the link below to listen.

This is an unplanned post and podcast. It is one i would choose to not post, much in the same way i choose to not be called average. But then my plans are not His plans, as it’s always been intended to be.

SorryYesterday while driving, i was finishing the final chapters of an incredible audio book i’ve been listening to for a couple of weeks. If anyone has ever watched NCIS on television you know about the Gibbs thing. It’s where when he walks up behind someone who is saying or doing something and he kinda slaps them behind the head so as to say “stop you’re messing up.” As i drove to work yesterday the audio book came up behind me, and slapped me behind the head.

i heard or understood in some sort of unexplainable way a very clear question. “ed, if you don’t want to be called average, why did you do such an average thing?” i didn’t have to stop and think as to what that meant. i knew exactly what was being called into light. i knew what was being exposed with-out a doubt. i had made a very average decision and executed it in a typically average way and now God wanted to know why.

i’ve shared in recent posts about my new job which i started about six weeks ago. i’m trying to keep this short and sweet so i’m just sharing necessities. For months we have had Obama care I health insurance and, we get a good-sized subsidy due to the reduced income we have made while serving in ministry. With my new job comes new insurance but it wasn’t to start until November 1st which was fine as we were still covered under our current plan. Then came a twist. A week ago i interviewed for a position that paid around $8,000.00 dollars more in salary and benefits and was far less stressful than my current position. On Wednesday this week i got the call that i was hired. Great! At this point i’m completely willing to continue to let God’s plan be the one and only plan. But… then my mind started to consider the details of our insurance coverage. Our Obama care ends October 31 st and our new insurance is supposed to start November 1st. Now my new, job coverage may not start until January 1st. That’s a problem. Once i give notice to my current job the coverage there will end immediately and we will be left uncovered. Yes there is Cobra but out of reach for us financially. Not even considering that God’s plan would include an answer to this dilemma i figured out that if i could start this new job immediately, i could get coverage on December 1st and all would be well. So i gave my notice on Wednesday that Friday would be my last day. While feeling uncomfortable giving such short notice i had reasoned it out at many different levels and any average person would have felt justified with the decision. But then I’m not average? my audio book would not let me get away with this stunt and it confronted my double mindedness. i don’t want to be called average… yet when push came to shove I did an average thing. i clearly heard, “why did you trust me with the whole job thing and not consider that I would take care of you from the beginning to end, but instead became average for your own self gain.” i couldn’t hold back the tears of frustration… with myself … they overwhelmed me. i thought for a few moments and realized i couldn’t fix this. i had already my plan for me to start on Monday. There was no going back and now… i was faced with how to move forward. First ask for forgiveness from my gracious Father. Second and the more difficult, forgive myself. Thirdly do what was now required of me to not be average.

ApologySo beyond the first two steps i knew i had to confess my error and ask forgiveness of each of my current bosses and some of the team members who knew what was going on. DREAD!!! GOD… PLEASE… isn’t there another way? Nothing but silence. So i began with the few members of the team thinking they would be easier and more understanding, which they were. Then i began one by one with the bosses. i confessed my error and asked them to forgive me as i had done an average thing. i explained that more was required of me so thus i am now apologizing for my decision to not give sufficient notice. i struggled to hold back the tears as i went through the same process for all three. The last one asked if they could hug me, and then told me that if i ever wanted to come back to call them personally and they would work their magic. With that i knew why i had to go through this, versus just moving on. No bridge was burned. Many wished me well as i left, some calling me pastor, some referring to me as the man of character within the team, some just hugging me and saying good-by. Did you get that… hugging me? i left knowing that God had this plan to make this all work out for His glory, and for my good. His love was reassured and once again grace was given.

To my readers and listeners i ask for forgiveness for not being who i portray myself to be in these posts and podcasts. It’s a good reminder for me to remember humility while wanting to not be identified as average.

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