Archive for June, 2015

Does anyone else find themselves living in a state of busy. On Monday morning when i get to work i and my co-workers compare notes and horror stories about whose weekend was more busy. When someone asks me, “How are you?” i bombard them with my daily to-do list. i may answer with something like “Ohhhhhh MY goodness! I’m sooooo busy! Let me tell you how BUSY I am…” And i rattle off all of the places i have to be and things i have to do.

And… i do all of this with an air of disgust and dread instead of joy with the decisions i have chosen myself. Then the other person has to one-up my busy with their busy. No wonder energy drinks are a 40 billion dollar a year industry.

So what am i so busy doing? And do i think i’ll get a prize for how hard my life is? Do i really think i’ll find joy in being busy? Is my exhaustion a badge i wear with respect and honor? Or… is being busy a cover up for my lack of joy, my nagging lack of purpose and significance that all to often eats at me?

If a day of back to back activities, work, church and family functions is not my idea of how to spend my weekend, then why am i spending my weekend that way? I thought i was wise?

What’s this all for? Why?

Could the answer be… so i don’t have to feel.

Feel what?

Feel the urgency, the pain, the beauty, the joy, the fleeting moments and the passing years. Feel what we see in the news. Feel what’s going on with my family or the family down the street that i know who is battling cancer. Feel the effects of aging, my kids and grandkids growing.

Honestly i have moments when i’m fearful of missing moments with my children and grandchildren. So in a panic i create a 1,000 moments for the fear of sinking too deeply into just that one that will pass me by too quickly, reminding me of my humanness.

In my relationships i may be fearful of the silence and loneliness with another in which i am vulnerable and exposed, so i fill up my moments without any thought. i fill my calendar with gatherings and meetings, work and overtime work, food and more food, a touch of sports and shows, weekend get aways and vacations in sun shiny places.

Stillness can be telling. Silence can stir up the truth. Maybe i’m afraid to be still. Afraid of what i will hear if i brush aside the noise and instead pick a few beautiful, slow, still moments to witness in full depth, full glory.

Some are afraid of lacking worth so they spin around in circles distracting themselves and everyone around them, proving their worth futilely in their busy lives while real life is slipping right by them… unnoticed.  i do this when i should be waiting, being still enough, brave enough to have my soul stirred to it’s core.

So here’s a challenge. Try a different way. See what happens. Face the fear and feel life. Clear the calendar of the clutter and give yourself a chance to feel your way through the moments instead of cracking the whip on them.

See what happens. I dare you. I dare you to un-busy your life.