Posts Tagged ‘feel’

Does anyone else find themselves living in a state of busy. On Monday morning when i get to work i and my co-workers compare notes and horror stories about whose weekend was more busy. When someone asks me, “How are you?” i bombard them with my daily to-do list. i may answer with something like “Ohhhhhh MY goodness! I’m sooooo busy! Let me tell you how BUSY I am…” And i rattle off all of the places i have to be and things i have to do.

And… i do all of this with an air of disgust and dread instead of joy with the decisions i have chosen myself. Then the other person has to one-up my busy with their busy. No wonder energy drinks are a 40 billion dollar a year industry.

So what am i so busy doing? And do i think i’ll get a prize for how hard my life is? Do i really think i’ll find joy in being busy? Is my exhaustion a badge i wear with respect and honor? Or… is being busy a cover up for my lack of joy, my nagging lack of purpose and significance that all to often eats at me?

If a day of back to back activities, work, church and family functions is not my idea of how to spend my weekend, then why am i spending my weekend that way? I thought i was wise?

What’s this all for? Why?

Could the answer be… so i don’t have to feel.

Feel what?

Feel the urgency, the pain, the beauty, the joy, the fleeting moments and the passing years. Feel what we see in the news. Feel what’s going on with my family or the family down the street that i know who is battling cancer. Feel the effects of aging, my kids and grandkids growing.

Honestly i have moments when i’m fearful of missing moments with my children and grandchildren. So in a panic i create a 1,000 moments for the fear of sinking too deeply into just that one that will pass me by too quickly, reminding me of my humanness.

In my relationships i may be fearful of the silence and loneliness with another in which i am vulnerable and exposed, so i fill up my moments without any thought. i fill my calendar with gatherings and meetings, work and overtime work, food and more food, a touch of sports and shows, weekend get aways and vacations in sun shiny places.

Stillness can be telling. Silence can stir up the truth. Maybe i’m afraid to be still. Afraid of what i will hear if i brush aside the noise and instead pick a few beautiful, slow, still moments to witness in full depth, full glory.

Some are afraid of lacking worth so they spin around in circles distracting themselves and everyone around them, proving their worth futilely in their busy lives while real life is slipping right by them… unnoticed.  i do this when i should be waiting, being still enough, brave enough to have my soul stirred to it’s core.

So here’s a challenge. Try a different way. See what happens. Face the fear and feel life. Clear the calendar of the clutter and give yourself a chance to feel your way through the moments instead of cracking the whip on them.

See what happens. I dare you. I dare you to un-busy your life.

 

Don’t stress what coulda or shoulda happened..because what DID happen prepared you for what’s GONNA happen!

i am not a woulda, coulda, shoulda person. When whatever happens, i usually can accept it and usually learn something from it. They say that everyone has regrets in life. While that MAY be true i have a difficult time in stating any regrets i have. i struggle to think of what or how i would do things differently. If the word is true and everything comes from God, goes through God and ends in God then i find it difficult to have regrets or live a life based on woulda, coulda, shoulda.

The worst emotion i can imagine feeling is woulda, coulda, shoulda, what if, or regret? At Onething Campus i hear people express lots of different emotions. Some are wonderful such as joy, excitement, pride, and inspiration. Others are less positive including fear, frustration, anger, and sadness. Yet, the one emotion that i consider to be perhaps the worst of all emotions is regret.

What is regret? It’s the idea that i wish i had done something differently. There are no dress rehearsals in life, no opportunities for do-overs. i get one shot at life, so i might as well accept that there will be a bunch of “woulda, coulda, shoulda” when i look in the rearview mirror of my life.

The issue of regret is very personal to me because one of my goals in life has been to experience as little regret as possible.

Regret can involve action or inaction. Life presents all kinds of opportunities. i then have a choice whether to embrace or reject each opportunity. i can take a leap of faith and risk failing. Or i can keep my feet firmly planted on the ground and seemingly ensure my safety, while also missing out on what the opportunity had to offer.

i know a lot of people who have deep regrets about what they didn’t do, an idea not pursued, a job not taken, a relationship gone bad.

I came across a blog recently written by a nurse who takes care of dying patients. The post described the five regrets that she heard most frequently from her patients:

1.  “I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.”

This regret is perhaps the most fundamental because it lies at the heart of leading a rich life. So much of the lack of meaning, satisfaction, and happiness that people experience can be boiled down to the fact that they are not living a life that is consistent with their true selves, values, and goals. This creates a tension that can lead to an unfulfilled life.

2.  “I wish I didn’t work so hard.”

I actually have mixed feelings about this regret. I think that if i experience regret #1 and i am in a career that isn’t aligned with who i am, then, yes, i will feel great regret for having spent time working when i could have been devoting my time to activities and people that i value.

At the same time, if my career is one, that i have great passion for, it is a source of satisfaction and pride, and i feel productive, valued, and connected, then this regret may not be relevant. As with most things in life, it’s probably best to strive for a life that includes engaging work, interesting avocations, and nurturing relationships.