What Was or What Is?

Paul’s saying, “ed you are not accountable for what you did not know. But now that you do know… well that’s another story.” He says , “ed, that was a part of your past behavior and it’s no longer acceptable today. He leaves no room for excuses nor does he allow God’s grace to be taken advantage of.

Colossians 3:7 It wasn’t long ago that you were doing all that stuff and not knowing any better.

The Amplified version says it like this, “Among whom you also once walked, when you were living in and addicted to [such practices].”

i know this is a translation but for me i don’t believe that it is a coincidence that the word “addicted” is used. i mentioned previously that my conclusion as to why i sin regularly and knowingly was due to an addiction to sin. As i read Paul’s words here i am fairly certain that i can not say that i am addicted to sin… and be raised with Christ.

At this moment that seems to make my sin worse. If it’s an addiction then i can get free from it. Yet here Paul says that i can not get free from what i am already free from because i settled the “If” question. Worse in that i could possibly be a son of disobedience. Worse in that i have not actually settled the “If” question and i am just an observer, even while appearing to participate as though i had.

Going back to the first 4 verses and the idea of my death being the same as Christ death, my resurrection being the same as Christs resurrection there does not appear to be any room for me to blame my sin on an addiction that has been put to death and resurrected in a Christ life.

As of today it only makes sense that the reason i continue to sin is that i am lacking in relationship with my Father. When i was a kid there were many, many things that i did not do because i did not want to disappoint my parents. As dysfunctional as they were i still did not want to be the cause of their disfunction so i considered the things i did and did not do very carefully. Trouble was not my middle name. That being said i have not honestly carried that consideration into my later life. i am not too worried about disappointing God. i ask myself why? Perhaps i have a distorted view of my relationship with God. Possibly i think of God as a sleeping giant? Maybe i think of Him as a buddy verses my elder, my parent, my mentor, which carries with it the notion of respect and even some fear.

In my relationship with Ann Marie i believe i am as close as any two people can be, and… there is a respect that does not allow me to do various things. There is also a fear that does not allow me do certain things. If i violate either one of those two things there would for sure be a price to pay or at the very least a great possibility for there to be a price to pay. Even if there was forgiveness extended and a restoration of the relationship it could never be the same as it was. Yet with God i do not seem to place as much significance on the price to be paid. Perhaps that’s due to a distorted use or understanding of His grace and mercy? Maybe i don’t believe that i am as bad as some others so He’s preoccupied?

What i do know for sure is that God will not be mocked. In my past are days that contain “These Very Sins” but now Paul says, “ed, everything regarding you has changed, you are now more than aware, you have sufficient understanding, and you fully equipped, and one more thing, which is the most important, you now better realize how much you are loved, so “BE”.