Lachrymose – Random Tears

No tears in the writer, no tears in the reader. No surprise in the writer, no surprise in the reader. Robert Frost.

Today i am just sharing random thoughts on whatever. There may be no coherency to them as a whole other than they are all occurring during this quiet time.

Life in the tech world changes many things. If i were writing this on paper versus a keyboard with a screen the paper would be blotchy from the tears stains. The paper would actually capture the tears and mark the paper forever. Then as the reader would look upon the paper they would see the tear stains and perhaps wonder what was the deeper meaning of the words on this page. What would cause the writer to shed tears. More specifically, what would cause ed to shed tears as he wrote this?  i think that somehow it would be more personal and for sure more intimate and this grasp the reason for my doing this in the first place.

Yesterday i was asked to pray for the meal. i had great difficulty focusing on praying for the meal as my heart could not only sense the many needs in the room but was overtaken with compassion for these extended family members. It was difficult to mumble out some words of thanks for food when there were wounds and hurts that needed mending. i had to fight hard to hold back the weepyness from taking over that moment and then having to explain myself while their food got cold. While i enjoyed seeing the adults of what once were new-born children when i first met them, it was also saddening. So much talent in so many areas. Music has always been a gift in this family and yet right now not one is doing anything with it. i listened with care and heard so many thank yous to those that had made the food for this day of Thanksgiving and yet not a single word about God, or spiritual things. Twenty one family members all gathered from far away and it was as though God was looking down as an uninvited guest verses moving around from within each who were in attendance.

i am on a daily basis inviting God to come with me to the room and to the table where i will again stuff  myself. Not to look down on me but to look within and show Himself as an outward sign of what is within me.  i had hoped that on Christmas Eve i would be able to share max Laccado’s story of The Christmas Angel, but it’s two hours long and grandchildren will not be able to survive that and thus neither will the adults. Maybe i should just give the book as a gift and then tell them that once they have read it there is another gift waiting for them? Maybe no gifts until read?Strings attached? Yep! Not going to work. Well i can give the book and express that this is a gift because it means so much to me. i guess i’ll be confined to just praying for God to reveal himself in me and through me during that visit and i think i might be better off with a handkerchief than tissues.

i wonder what will bring me to tears today? Last night i watched Bruce Almighty and Morgan Freeman who plays God did so. Even though it was just for a moment the thoughts lingered for the night and then into this morning. He says in one line, “They are always looking up.” i thought that was the idea or the goal that He wanted people to do. Look up to God? But His next lines expressed the disappointment in people doing so. He spoke about people only looking up when things get hard and then it’s not as a revelation to the love of God but as a want for something.

Harriet Beecher Stowe says, “The bitterest tears shed over graves are for words left unsaid and deeds left undone.”

The people around me are not yet in their graves and so i still have time to speak the unspoken and do the undone before that day arrives. Then on that day my Tears will be the telescope by which i will see far into heaven and watch as these people who touched my life rejoice.

Lachrymose – Tis The “Season” but should it be?

Well it’s Thanksgiving Day! i really dislike that, so much is placed on a single day of being thankful, as though we don’t have time for it any other day. As i hear from many that i haven’t for quite some time the weepyness continues. Where are these people all the rest of the time? And yes where am i as well? A simple text letting people know that they are thought of and responses come. For all of these i at one time or another thought i was in relationship. i do not have unnecessary contacts in my list. Whom ever is relevant exist and if not relevant then why store it? Sounds cold… but it’s not. Obviously for me to have over 100 people in the list which means i don’t give up quickly or easily.

Just checking the names on the list so as to send the message brought about many memories both from long ago and in recent days. Last Friday came to mind for several. Today we are away from our usual environment and will be so for 8 more days. In a little while we will eat with some friends of 25 years. We will see the adult version of what were new borns when we first met. Many opportunities for tears. At the same time looking forward to time with our children and grandchildren in just a few weeks. Many opportunities for tears. And now that the “season” has officially arrived all the movies come as well. It’s a wonderful life, The Bells of St Mary, White Christmas, and Christmas Shoes all many opportunities for many tears.

There appears to be no way around it, i might as well carry a box of kleenx with me and let that be fair warning to all that you speak to me or look at me with risk of experiencing tears. i probably won’t be able to explain but i assure you they are tears of compassion regardless of what about. I think to say anymore would be to much.

Let me close by saying thank you to all of you for having enough meaning in my life that you can bring me to tears! I mean that seriously! Not many have done that in my life. HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

Lachrymose… The Heart Reader!

As i reviewed the past two days of posts i began to take more notice of what was causing me to be weepy. Yes, i said everything but after yesterday’s post i really wanted to know in more detail. Let me go back to when i became aware that i was weepy. The first thing that came to my mind was a book that i had been given, probably ten years ago by a friend. It’s called the Heart Reader. Ten years ago it made me cry as i read it, but that was a very rare occasion. Recently i had loaned it out for some others to read so it was fresh on my mind. Just thinking about this begins a weepy time. The Heart Reader, is about heart relationships, both life long changing ones and those that i would refer to as acquaintances.

Sam is a man who in some way becomes aware of every persons heart that he comes within range of. He hears everything! That’s seems to be where i am. i am hearing or better yet discerning the hearts of people around me. i honestly thought yesterday’s post was to scientific and not personal, but it was exactly what i needed. i am a detail person and i prefer to have my ducks in a row for most situations. It’s that control thing. No problem with change so long as i am in control of it at some level. That’s why this weepy thing has gotten to me. i am not in control at any level. i need a reason or a purpose or something to blame it on. Or at least i thought i did, not so much right now. It was in yesterday’s post that God revealed to me the why and it was to encourage me, not discipline me.

i get weepy when i get compassionate and i get compassionate when i CARE (serious attention, protection, temporary keeping, as for the benefit of) about the lives of His people. When sin causes me to weep, it’s a good thing. When sinful people cause to weep verses judge it’s an even better thing. The tears speak volumes. It means that this individual, in this situation has reached my heart.

As Sam in the Heart Reader had to find out what that looked like, so must i. In most cases i am not in a position to do much, especially when it’s on tv some other form of media. Yes, there are times when the person is near me and yet just like Sam i feel helpless to do anything for them. And just like Sam i sometime fear what God may be asking of me. i am not the person who walks up to strangers and engages. Anyone who knows me, really knows me, will tell you that i prefer silence and solitude, unless it’s about the word. When i heard God tell me two years ago through reading another book that i was to learn silence and solitude, i was thrilled. GOD told me to… well it didn’t turn out to mean what i thought. What i learned was to listen. To put myself in a position to hear. Now two years later i am hearing, discerning, hearts and it is the cause for my lachrymose.

Prior to all this happening i had practiced another type of silence and solitude. While i cared about people i distanced myself from them. A protective barrier was constructed. If people could not help my alcoholic father nor my suicidal mother, then what could they do for me? It was all about, what if anything, i might be able to do for them… from an arm’s length of course. While i would meet practical needs it was based on my selectiveness. While i would speak about God in my life, i would only make a judgement as to another persons relationship with God, never asking whether there was one or not and as for the depth of it… well you get the picture.

In closing, “Heaven knows we need never be ashamed of our tears, for they are rain upon the blinding dust of earth, overlying our hard hearts.”  Charles Dickens

Heaven knows i need never be ashamed of my tears, for they are rain upon the blinding dust of earth, overlying my hard heart. 

Lachrymose… Tears that count!

To weep is to make less the depth of grief. – William Shakespeare

Crying (also called sobbing, wailing, weeping, bawling, and blubbering) is shedding tears as a response to an emotional state in humans. The medical term for this is to lacrimate, which also refers to non-emotional shedding of “tears. In many cultures, it is more socially acceptable for women and children to cry, and less socially acceptable for men to cry.  

According to a study men cry once every month; women cry at least five times per month. Men tend to cry for between two and four minutes, and women cry for about six minutes. Crying turns into sobbing for women in 65% of cases, compared to just 6% for men. The apparent official name for my crying is, Pathological. This is when people experience relatively uncontrollable episodes of laughing or crying, or both.

  Why is it that i am so perplexed and ashamed of tears? Calvin Miller says in his book, The Valiant Papers, “Crying is common in this world. It does little good, however, to ask the reason for it.” It’s said that with maturity the sound and reason for crying changes, but it never stops. Infants do it everywhere, – even in public. By adulthood, most crying is done alone and in the dark. Weeping for babies is a sign of health and evidence that they are alive. Isn’t that interesting? Tears, not laughter are the sign of life. It makes crying and living synonymous.”

 

 Jesus was a man’s man, and the Bible clearly states that Jesus shed tears. Jesus was a strong man – probably the strongest to ever live – but He still shed tears. This shows that Christ was strong, but was also full of compassion! So maybe i am becoming more compassionate? i seem to shed tears over things that don’t really matter. i am sure that there are some things that God and the Son of God think are worth shedding tears over, because Jesus wept over certain things…

 

 Jesus Wept In Sympathy For Others. (Jn. 11:35)

Lazarus has been dead for four days and mourners are gathered around crying. Verse 33 tells us that Jesus saw Mary weeping over Lazarus that, “…he groaned in the spirit, and was troubled.” He was moved to weep in sympathy for the pain of those who grieved over the loss of Lazarus.

Romans 12:15 tells us to, “…weep with them that weep…”  The best way for us to show our love and concern for others in times of their trouble is just being there and not being too big to sincerely cry with them. i must make sure that my tears are not manufactured. In Jesus’ day, you could actually hire mourners to attend a funeral of a loved one. Jesus was not a hired mourner and He was not trying to make a scene out of Himself. He was genuinely moved by sympathy.

                

i realize that crying with others is not always convenient. Sometimes it calls for me to interrupt my schedule, or be unselfish for a time. It may also call for me to lay down my guard and actually feel someone else’s pain.

Jesus went to Lazarus’ graveside to model that He was the Resurrection and Life, but before He raised Lazarus He taught a wonderful lesson on sympathy and learning to cry with those who cry.

 

Jesus Wept In Concern For Sinners.

In Luke 19, Jesus is approaching Jerusalem for the last time before His crucifixion. Verse 41 tells us that as He approached the city, he saw it and wept over it. He wept over Jerusalem because He knew of the sin what would take place in a few days during His crucifixion. He did not cry because of what would happen to Him. He cried for the sinners that would carry it out. They were lost and didn’t know the Lord. They knew about religion, but they didn’t have a relationship with God. They were headed for destruction, so Jesus wept for them.When was the last time that i shed tears for the lost? Psalm 126:5-6 says, “They that sow in tears shall reap in joy. He that goeth forth and weepeth, bearing precious seed, shall doubtless come again with rejoicing, bringing his sheaves with him.” This tells us that if we weep over sinners, we will see fruit and will bring in those spiritual sheaves. We will see people saved when we learn to shed tears over the lost.

 

In Acts 20, Paul mentioned the role of tears in his ministry. He said that he served the Lord “…with humility of mind and with many tears…” (19), and that he, “…ceased not to warn every one night and day with tears.” (31). Paul reached so many because he wept for so many. He cried the tears of Jesus.

 

Jesus Wept Over Sin.

There is a big difference between sinners and sin. God hates sin, but loves the sinner. Jesus, however, wept over both, but for different reasons. Hebrews 5:7 tells us, “Who in the days of his flesh, when he had offered up prayers and supplications with strong crying and tears unto him that was able to save him from death, and was heard in that he feared;” This is about Christ and his final moments in Gethsemane when He cried and prayed so intense that He sweat blood. His burden was the sins of the whole world. my sins are what caused Him those tears. my sins are what caused Him that bloody sweat. my sins are what caused Him the pain on the cross. Jesus wept over sin. There is a time for us to weep over sin as well

                                1. Peter wept when he denied Christ.

                                2. David wept over his sin with Bathsheba

                                3. Egypt wept over not heeding to God. 

i am to weep over my sin as well. When was the last time that i felt such extreme guilt of my sin that i wept? Just as Jesus wept over the sin of others i am to do the same. This is intercessory weeping, like a parent who weeps over a child, or a wife who cries over the sins of her husband. 

              

Crying is natural and God-given but i want to make sure to cry over the things that Jesus cried over.

 

If i am going to cry so much then i don’t want to cry when i get a scratch in my new car. i may wince a little but it’s really not worth any tears. i want to cry about the neighbor without Christ. i want to cry about the teens in our community who don’t know how much God loves them. i want to cry over those addicted to drugs and alcohol and their families. i want to cry for the homeless. i want to cry for the millions starving and living under oppression because of the sinful selfishness of oppressive government regimes.

 

Jesus wept about things that really mattered…

                1. Hurting People.

                2. Sinners who are in need of Him.

                3. Sin which separates us from Him.

 

Count me in!

Lachrymose… A time for tears!

Weepy: weeping or tending to weep, tearful, lachrymose, exuding water or other moisture, leaky.

Lachrymose: suggestive of or tending to cause tears, given to shedding tears readily.

 A TIME FOR TEARS

Life often makes no sense. Accidents happen, people become ill, others die prematurely leaving behind families. Plans and dreams go unfulfilled. People who were there for you one moment are there no more, for a variety of reasons.

When i consider and see it all, it floods me with emotion. Whether good or bad it’s like a knife in the heart. What remains is bewilderment, confusion, anger, doubt, sorrow, joy, exuberance, and ultimately tears. Not something i am used to or comfortable with.

 There is an ancient custom of using “Tear Bottles”. The belief was that tears were “sacred.” Archaeologists have uncovered in ancient tombs Lachrymatories – small vials – bottle for tears. In those days tears were collected and every tear shed was sacred! As i just turned 59 it seems as though i can’t do anything without shedding a tear. No event is exempt, meetings, weddings, movies, television shows, teaching, sharing, even a sports interview. As for trying to collect them, well i’d need my own Lachrymatory. i’m not so sure about them being sacred either. I have heard before that when people get older they become weepy. For me the word weepy just doesn’t cut it so, i found what i think is a better word, Lachrymose. It’s a word i have never heard but it sounds more descriptive to me than weepy. A more manly word. i find myself lachrymose, given to shedding tears readily.

The Psalmist David said, “God, put my tears into your bottle.” Psalm 56  My question, why would God collect “tears?”

i as well as everyone i know collect things that i am are interested in, that are of value, that are rare and that i… well, i just don’t want to throw away.

God collects the tears of those who cry out to him, because He’s interested in my tears. i may not feel anyone else cares, but i believe God cares. He knows my tears are of value. Being lachrymose has not always been a state of being that i was familiar with. You know, that men don’t cry thing! But one of the most memorable times in my life was a day where i did not just cry, i wept uncontrollably, not for a moment but for minutes, which seemed like days. That day my tears washed away deep hurts and wounds.

My tears may dry up where they fall, but they do not dry up or evaporate before God. The tears God collects are as priceless treasures and He keeps them safe.

In my everyday life, God seems to be saying, “Don’t bottle up your tears within inside yourself.” i try to bottle them up – afraid, afraid to let go, and realizing that it’s unhealthy to bottle up too much inside. i am finding the volume of tears is too massive and they squeeze against every fiber of my soul. For seemingly no reason they press their way out and express my inner feelings regarding any number of subjects. This all occurs at the most inconvenient times as well. They are in control and that is what causes me the problem. They, not i are in control. And the being afraid part, is that as the tears surface someone just might ask, “what’s wrong.” My tears have always been for my own personal enjoyment, not for the world to see. i am learning that God gave me tears as a way of cleansing my heart, mind, soul and they wash away any number of emotions. For most of my life i held them in and so nothing ever got washed out. The Psalmist was saying, my tears are too many – i can’t hold them all so “God put my tears into Your bottle.”

i know that God is with me. It’s okay for me and every other person to weep, to cry, to tremble. God says, “Let me hold you ed, let me embrace you” your tears are sacred.

In closing i offer my translation of Psalm 56:8 God, You’ve kept track of my every toss and turn through the sleepless nights. Each tear, You capture into Your bottle, each emotion you write in Your book. my hope is that being lachrymose is for Him and not just some biological curse… or blessing as some may view it, of getting older. One bottle filled and sealed.